The Tasks of Life

Sunday Service, 4 May 2025

Led by Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall and Congregation Members

Musical Prelude: Wagoner's Lad (performed by Tara Viscardi, Jess Collins, Phoebe Harty, and Tara McCarthy)

Opening Words: ‘We Arrive Together Here’ by Andy Pakula (adapted)

We arrive together here:

Travellers on life's journey.

Seekers of meaning, of love, of healing, of justice, of truth.

The journey is long, and joy and woe

accompany us at every step.

None is born that does not die.

None feels pleasure that does not also feel pain.

Numerous are our origins, our paths, and our destinations

And yet, happily, our ways have joined together here today.

Spirit of Life. God of all Love:

May our joining be a blessing;

May it bring comfort to those who are in pain;

May it bring hope to those who despair;

May it bring peace to those who tremble in fear;

May it bring wisdom and guidance for our journeys.

And though this joining may be for just a moment in time

the moment is all we can ever be certain of.

So may we embrace this and every instant of our lives. (pause)

Words of Welcome and Introduction: 

These words from Andy Pakula welcome all who have gathered this morning for our Sunday service. Welcome to those who have gathered in-person at Essex Church, to all who are joining us via Zoom, a particular shout-out to Glasgow Unitarians who are with us today – you’re very welcome – and welcome to anyone who’s watching this service or listening at a later date via YouTube or the podcast.  For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m Jane Blackall, and I’m minister with Kensington Unitarians.

Today’s service is titled ‘The Tasks of Life’ – I feel this might be a bit self-indulgent but the reason I chose this theme this particular week is that, as some of you know, I’m going to turn 50 next week, which puts me roughly in the middle of the age range of our congregation. So I thought it would be good to ask a selection of members and friends of this congregation from across this wide age range – from thirty-somethings to eighty-somethings – to share their personal reflections on what life looks like from their current viewpoint on the journey. We hold congregational services like this from time to time as we know that everyone has wisdom to share, whatever their age or stage of life, as we all gain insight and experience as we do our best to play whatever hand life has dealt us. I hope this morning’s service will serve as an invitation for us all to reflect on how our priorities, values, and sense of purpose can shift over the decades as we learn and grow along the way.

Chalice Lighting: ‘Bringing Us Home to Love’ by Frances Koziar (adapted)

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. It’s a moment for us to stop and take a breath, settle ourselves down, put aside any preoccupations we came in carrying. This simple ritual connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over, and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which this gathering is part.

(light chalice) 

We light this chalice today as a people dedicated

to personal growth and lifelong development.

May it burn away the oppressions we have been taught,

and glow instead with the humility of learning.

May it reignite our dreams for a better world,

and kindle our joy for simple, compassionate, living.

May its warmth extend out into the forgotten alleyways of exclusion,

and bring us home to love, to welcoming,

and to all the challenges, the questions, and the blessings

of this beautiful path to becoming a beloved community.

Hymn (on sheet): ‘Life’s Great Gifts’

Our first hymn this morning is on your hymn sheet: ‘Life’s Great Gifts’. For those joining via zoom the words will be up on screen (as they will for all hymns). Feel free to stand or sit as you prefer.

Life is the greatest gift of all

The riches on this earth;

Life and its creatures, great and small,

Of high and lowly birth:

So treasure it and measure it

With deeds of shining worth.

We are of life, its shining gift,

The measure of all things;

Up from the dust our temples lift,

Our vision soars on wings;

For seed and root, for flower and fruit,

Our grateful spirit sings.

Mind is the brightest gift of all,

Its thought no barrier mars;

Seeking creation's hidden plan,

Its quest surmounts all bars;

It reins the wind, it chains the storm,

It weighs the outmost stars.

Love is the highest gift of life,

Our glory and our good;

Kindred and friend, husband and wife,

It flows in golden flood;

So, hand in hand, from land to land,

Spread sister-brotherhood.  

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. We’ll go to the people in the building first, then to Zoom.

So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us who or what you light your candle for – please keep it brief – be considerate of others. I’m going to ask you to come to the lectern to speak, as we want people to be able to hear you. 

(in person candles)  

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Lyn Cox

Let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer. This prayer is based on some words by Lyn Cox. You might want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,

   we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,

      as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom

         to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.

      Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the

         silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (pause)

We come together this morning, and every Sunday morning,

as we each continue on our unique path through this life,

joining to remember and reaffirm our commitment

to our highest values and the common good.

Grant us the courage to continue on the journey,

the courage to act and speak for the well-being

of others, and ourselves, and the planet we share.

May we forgive ourselves and each other

when our courage and care falls short,

and may we resolve to try again, in love.

Grant us hearts to love boldly,

to embody our faith and our values

each day in living words and deeds.

May our hearts open to embrace

humility, grace, and reconciliation.

Grant us the ability to learn and grow,

to let the Spirit of Love and Truth work

its transformation upon us and within us.

Grant us the spirit of radical hospitality,

the willingness to sustain a dwelling place

for the holy that resides in all being.

Grant us a sense of being at peace in the world,

even as we are in perpetual motion,

tossed and turned by life’s tempests.

Let us cultivate – together – the strength

to welcome every kind of gift life brings our way

and all manner of ways to be on the journey together. (pause)

And let us take a few quiet moments now to look inward, to get in touch with what’s real,

what is going on beneath the surface of our lives this morning. Let us notice what we’re carrying.

What troubles us. What questions or uncertainties we are faced with. What hopes we nurture.

(pause)

And from that place of realness – silently, inwardly, ask for what you most need – don’t get too hung up on who or what you’re asking – maybe it’s God, maybe you’re casting it out into the Universe. Even if you’re the only one to hear your prayer – be clear on what you need in this moment.

(pause)

And let us also be sure to give thanks for what we already have. Let us look back on the week and recall all those moments – large or small – of kindness, generosity, comfort – even moments of joy. Silently, inwardly, take the time to savour those gifts, connect with gratitude, and take in the good. (pause)

And let us turn outwards now, shifting our attention to the world around us, from those who are closest to our heart, to neighbours and strangers, our wider community, stretching ever onward,

as we sense our connection to every living being we share this planet with, and hold them all in love. (pause)

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up

   our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,

      and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,

     help us to live well each day and be our best selves;

     using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen.

Hymn 193 (purple): ‘We Laugh, We Cry’

Let’s sing again now – our second hymn is number 193 in your purple books – ‘We Laugh, We Cry’. It’s an old favourite but it’s long so gather all your stamina. You can always stay seated if that helps.

We laugh, we cry, we live, we die; we dance, we sing our song.

We need to feel there's something here to which we all belong.

We need to feel the freedom just to have some time alone.

But most of all we need close friends we can call our very own.

And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;

and we have found a need to be together.

We have our hearts to give

we have our thoughts to receive;

and we believe that sharing is an answer.

A child is born among us and we feel a special glow.

We see time's endless journey as we watch the baby grow.

We thrill to hear imagination freely running wild.

We dedicate our minds and hearts to the spirit of this child.

And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;

and we have found a time to be together.

And with the grace of age,

we share the wonder of youth,

and we believe that growing is an answer.

Our lives are full of wonder and our time is very brief.

The death of one among us fills  us all with pain and grief.

But as we live, so shall we die, and when our lives are done

the memories we shared with friends, they will linger on and on.

And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;

and we have found a place to be together.

We have the right to grow, we have the gift to believe

that peace within our living is an answer.

We seek elusive answers to  the questions of this life.

We seek to put an end to all  the waste of human strife.

We search for truth, equality, and blessed peace of mind.

And then we come together here, to make sense of what we find.

And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;

and we have found a joy to be together.

And in our search for peace, maybe we'll finally see:

even to question truly is an answer.

ONLINE Reflection: ‘Keep Going’ by Charlotte Chanteloup

I turned 33 about two months ago and what an achievement that is for me! I spent my teenaged years and my young adult years so depressed that I thought I would never grow old.  Although I feel lonely sometimes, these days, my priority is to spend time with people I love, and especially my godson and my nieces.

My mum passed away at 55 and I struggle imagining myself past that age. I guess I still wrestle with picturing what Future!Me will look like. Besides, the world is a scary place these days and I can’t envision what the world will look like in 5 years. So, I do what I’ve always done in the dark times: I find a way to keep going.

I’m often reminded of a 2017 video by American author John Green. In the video, he is in Venice with his wife and enjoying it. He also recounts being in Venice before and being miserable because of mental and physical health issues. He concludes the video with these few sentences: “And I was reminded that how you feel at your worst is not how you're always going to feel. I mean sure, the world is going to end, and Venice will sink into the sea, but not yet. Sitting in the piazza drinking unconscionably expensive espresso, I was reminded that the world is what it is, but the world is also what you bring to it. And who you share it with.”

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘A Time of Transformations’ by Lochlann Binney

It's hard for me to think about my experience of my stage of life as typical enough to include here, because of my Long COVID. Conditions like mine are described as ageing, physically but also experientially: my mother, who has ME, regularly says she's been ‘living like I’m 80 since I was 40’. I got COVID five years ago next month, when I was 29, so while my experience of being in my mid-thirties has been one of slowing down and settling into myself, I can't tell how much of that is because I got sick, so was forced to slow down, or because I got used to being sick, have settled into my disabled identity. But that feeling of settling does seem to be shared with some of my peers.

My friends who are the same age and I are all settling in, in different ways: into adulthood, into careers, into ourselves. Some of us are doing the traditional things: having children, buying and decorating first homes. But a lot of us are going through transformations there are fewer stories about. We're getting diagnoses for conditions we've always had, including ADHD and Autism; we’re going to therapy; we're transitioning across or between genders; we're getting divorced; we're retraining (surprisingly often as therapists). It seems as though we're all figuring out who we really want to be, or who we've always been, and are finally able to move towards that truth, either because we're now living with enough security to be able to, or simply because as we've settled into adulthood we've realised how long an inauthentic life would be. We're matching our outsides, as much as possible, to our insides, so we can get on with living our lives.

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘Live to Leave a Loving Imprint’ by Chloë Harewood

It's easy to lose the sense of that feeling of excitement and optimism that felt ever so present in my 20s and 30s.

I'm 41 and I'm child free. I really appreciate the sense of freedom this gives me. Recently entering this new decade of my life, I especially feel the notion of time speeding by, hurtling past, and not waiting - not waiting for me to catch up. That petrifies me. So what I feel is important in this next phase of life is to use that sense of freedom wisely; to choose to live in an intentional way and to be intentional with my time and my habits; to not fritter away my time. Easier said than done for a chronic procrastinator and coaster like me! I can remind myself that I have the capacity, through my habits and actions, to continue cultivating fruits in my life - there's always room to feel excited and optimistic.

Separately from that, I often think of a quote by Maya Angelou, the acclaimed American writer, poet, storyteller and civil rights activist. This quote that has always stayed with me. She said: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Her words help me to be mindful of my way of being around others, how I leave them feeling, and how I'd like to be remembered by them; the impact its possible to leave on people's lives. I just can't shake that notion from my head. To me, it's the ultimate motto to guide me in how I live out my life.

As I endeavour to live my life leaving a loving and meaningful imprint, I know I can't do it without the consistent practice of working on myself. I need to continually do the work! Practicing self-love and striving to bring compassion inwards, is so vital in all of this. The loving kindness I hope to exude is the same loving kindness I need to show myself.

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘Making Room for the Questions’ by Jasmine Cooray

Hello, most of you won’t know me very well yet. I’m Jasmine, I’m 39, I’m Queer, I’m widowed, I’m autistic, I'm a psychotherapist, and a poet, and I live with my mum, who I look after, if ‘look after’ means keep her supplied with cake, and return her online purchases. 

I am not where lots of people expect you to be in your late 30s. I don't have a house. I can’t drive. I don’t have a partner, or children. When my late partner died 7 years ago, I was flung off that trajectory. I landed in a place with no map. For years I tried to get back onto the same road by pursuing relationships obsessively, and blindly. But that exhausted me, and right now, I’m sitting in the dirt, looking up, and around, again.

The world doesn’t look the way it did when I was a child, the future is so much more uncertain. How do you dream now? I’m expert at dreaming - what is harder is letting go of dreams and opening one’s mind to the idea of a walking an unchartered path. I wonder what my heart can irrigate, other than just the heart of one other person. Where can I still share of myself - how can I nurture the world another way, an older way, the way of the village. What if I didn’t have to do everything by myself, as I’ve always done, but holding hands with others? What if we walked the dark together?

I’m grateful for the medicinal and imperfect beauty of nature, which I’m getting to know with the wonder of a child who didn’t know there was so much beyond her housing estate. And of the comfort of God, who has only shown up in my life very recently. I was brought up to strive for answers. I’m making more room now for the questions to hang in the air.

VIDEO Reflection: ‘Going with the Flow’ by Rajan Rasaiah

Jane's Engagement Groups have encouraged me to aspire towards a new self-description: "The 'Empowered Discerning Conformist'. To be less troubled by the natural ability to have adapted myself to pretty much whatever environment I'm found in. To embrace my unsettling capacity - unsettling for me, at least, and so a capacity I don't always choose to foster - to 'fit in' to a wide variety of settings. To be less concerned about holding my broadly mainstream views, and my not particularly progressive outlook on life. Acknowledging, perhaps, that these tendencies - in themselves, and when held by someone who happens to be me - are not inevitably complicit in causing harm or disadvantage to another. Rather, by continuing to propel myself away from the centre to what I perceive to be the edge, perhaps all I'm doing is encroaching on ground more comfortably held, in trust, by someone else? Time to get out of their way. To get out of 'My Way'. To relax, and position myself mid-stream.  To maximise the opportunity, simply, to go with the flow. And if I do succeed in transforming myself into an 'Empowered Discerning Conformist'? What might my beloved, courageous, progressive, non-conformist friends think about me then? Perhaps: “Look, here comes Rajan. Predictably following the path of least resistance. Good for him.” But what might they say - how might this 'new me' be received? Probably like the previous version. And similar to whenever I appear at one of Jane's Engagement Groups. With a warm smile. A cheery wave. And a resolutely welcoming: "Hi Rajan."

Words for Meditation: ‘Ode to Age’ by Pablo Neruda

Thanks all. We’re moving into a time of meditation now. To take us into stillness I’m going to share a poem by Pablo Neruda titled ‘Ode to Age’. These words will take us into a few minutes of shared silence which will end with the sound of a bell. Then we’ll hear some music for meditation. So let’s do what we need to do to get comfortable – adjust your position if you need to – perhaps put your feet flat on the floor to ground yourself – or close your eyes. As we always say, the words are just an offering, so feel free to use this time to meditate in your own way.

I don't believe in age.

All old people

carry

in their eyes,

a child,

and children,

at times

observe us with the

eyes of wise ancients.

Shall we measure

life

in meters or kilometres

or months?

How far since you were born?

How long

must you wander

until

like all men

instead of walking on its surface

we rest below the earth?

To the man, to the woman

who utilized their

energies, goodness, strength,

anger, love, tenderness,

to those who truly

alive

flowered,

and in their sensuality matured,

let us not apply

the measure

of a time

that may be

something else, a mineral

mantle, a solar

bird, a flower,

something, maybe,

but not a measure.

Time, metal

or bird, long

petiolate flower,

stretch

through

man's life,

shower him

with blossoms

and with

bright

water

or with hidden sun.

I proclaim you

road,

not shroud,

a pristine

ladder

with treads

of air,

a suit lovingly

renewed

through springtimes

around the world.

Now,

time, I roll you up,

I deposit you in my

bait box

and I am off to fish

with your long line

the fishes of the dawn!

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell  

Interlude: A Mother's Love is a Blessing (waltz) (performed by Tara Viscardi, Jess Collins, Phoebe Harty, and Tara McCarthy)

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘A Few Useful Lessons’ by John Humphreys

When I was much younger, I read about the Hindu teachings that life can be divided into four stages. Much abbreviated, the first is student, the second householder, the third detachment, and the fourth renunciation. As I have now reached 75 years old I am aware my life expectancy requires me to at least consider the fourth stage. I might add there are many many things I am unwilling to renounce. I hope I have learnt a few useful lessons which may help me navigate my remaining days.  And here are a few of my current tasks of life:

Remain Curious and Question Everything: Unitarians encourage exploration of the dynamic between the rational and the intuitive.  As a scientist my preference is to explore philosophy rather than theology but I am currently enjoying exploring a rabbit hole called Panpsychism.

Words are wonderful things but….I have found such joy and solace as I get older from music, both as listener and singer, and painting purely for pleasure has been a revelation. And of course the beauty of nature is ever present.

There are many ways to be of service: I realise after a lifetime of problem solving I now prefer to just do the washing up and put things away.

Kindness can be cultivated: My inner critic can be very noisy at times in terms of what I should be doing for my family, friends, community and the world.  But I have learnt, mostly after periods of significant pain, that if I start by being kind to myself, the right action soon becomes clear.

Keep moving and yet be still: Having struggled with my feelings of loss recently, I am so grateful I can still stretch, walk, cycle and swim.  All these activities make it easier to be still and accept feelings that I usually suppress.

I finish with this quote from Elizabeth Kubler Ross – “It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had”

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘Things to Let Go, Things to Embrace’ by Patricia Brewerton

Looking back, I realise I have stopped doing many things I used to enjoy.  I haven’t driven for 10 years, 5 years ago I accepted that I would never again take my mates backpacking along Brittany’s beautiful cliff tops and 2 years ago the boats had to go.  As I move forward, I am sure there will be other things to let go of but so far there have always been new things to embrace. 

And now, for the first time in my life, I belong to a church where I can be myself and not pretend to believe things I just can’t believe.  And these days I have the time to study the things I really care about and at present I still have the energy to act on what I find. And perhaps most importantly I can still work with the kids at Literacy Pirates where I am by far the oldest crewmate there.  The little girls are so impressed with my age that they treat me like a fragile flower and their pleasure in touching my face has made me really proud of my wrinkles.

I know that the time ahead could be short, in 5 years’ time I shall be 90 and that does seem old.  Until now my life has, in the main, been a fulfilling and happy one. Of course, I would not be being honest if I pretended that I was not a little afraid of what the future holds, but one thing I am not afraid of is dying.  I would just like to be able to continue to live well and be my best self.

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘The Last Mile Home’ by Brian Ellis

Two people who know me have said quite independently in recent years “Brian, you’re an innocent”. Dictionary definition: someone who is ingenuous, guileless, naïve.

I have lived a very privileged and easy life compared to nearly all humans who have existed, and from that viewpoint I probably am an innocent, never having to face the evils that are all too apparent in life. How does life look as an innocent from my ninth decade, with statistics indicating that I will die within the next seven years or so?

It looks challenging. I’m no nearer answering the question ‘what’s the meaning, what’s all this living about?’ than I was sixty-five years ago when I started thinking about it. Time has shown me that life gets more complex, wonderful and confusing the more you experience it but I hope that if I keep plugging away in the time left things might get clearer.

I also realise that in order to have had the life I’ve had, I have been a contributor to the problems that we know will be facing future generations, and that in the time left to me I must do whatever I can to mitigate this situation, even though my actions may seem small and insignificant.

As I walk the last mile home I shall sing quietly to myself words from a popular song: ‘ac-cen-tu-ate the positive, e-lim-i-nate the negative ………

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘My Personal Curriculum’ by Michaela von Britzke

What I leaned after the rigours of Midlife for you, dear Jane! Becoming aware that ‘I’m definitely getting older’ starts for many of us with some kind of physical diminishment. This initiates another major developmental stage with its tasks and possibilities for new learning.  I want to share with you, what made this stage – against all against fears and odds - fruitful, exciting in a persistently inviting way that is often joyous - with, through and in spite of serious demands to accept and adjust (You know, my eyes, my eyes!).

What helped most – apart from my friends - was a rigorous practice of trying to be in the present - and avoiding future gazing. Then friends taught me to faithfully assume, that whatever came was my personal curriculum for ongoing unfolding – specially designed by my heavenly therapist. So I try to direct awareness and gratitude to everything I can still do, everything that has been gifted to me.

The big challenge came with my eyes demanding to break my (culturally conditioned) attachment to the illusion of autonomy, my desire to control, my pride in individual capacity – you all know what I mean! Instead, now I perennially work on actually feeling that I belong, that I’m safe in being a tiny part in the interdependent universe that safely holds us all. I practice trusting that whatever comes is the next bit of my curriculum – no resistance! 

The most transformative experience is to ask for help – it always comes when I ask. Owning and articulating my need is the key that opened a new world of benevolence. I did not know it before, – because I didn’t ask for help with really knowing that giving and receiving is doing what evolution equipped us for – something like the complementary collaboration between a mother and her baby. Everybody wins in this world of kindness. This feeds my trust that whatever comes will open new doors of understanding myself and others.

My world has changed with my sight loss. Gratitude for all the connections in my worlds of experience comes to the rescue – I hope, I’ll finally learn to be patient and retain my passion for life in all its complex dimensions... I hope these reflections resonate with you, dear Jane. It’s good to give to you, from whom I receive much.

IN-PERSON Reflection: ‘Nothing Lasts’ by Rev. Sarah Tinker

Thank you Michaela for your words of wisdom and to the other eight people, at varied stage and ages of life, who’ve contributed to this service. Your perspectives have been really fascinating to hear. Jane asked us to speak about what matters to us now, what our life priorities are, our sense of purpose, or values – and how that’s changed over time – something about the personal or spiritual growth we’re aware of so far and what is ‘current and live’ for us in this phase of life.

I’d enjoy hearing what these contributions have sparked off in everyone else’s minds, those of you who are listening at home, or are here in person, or perhaps you’re tuning into this service sometime in the future online. What is current for you in your particular phase of life? What does life seemingly require of you at this stage of your existence? What learnings have you picked up along the way, what has changed and how has it changed you?

I talked to some friends about this week’s theme of ‘our tasks of life’ – all a similar age to me or a bit older, 70s and older. One person set us off first into laughter and then into deep philosophical waters when they described how much time they spent these days simply trying to stop body parts from falling off or failing to function. Eyes, teeth, ears, hair, nails, and other parts too gory to mention.

Someone remembered the first verse of Pam Ayres vital poem ‘Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth, And spotted the perils beneath. All the toffees I chewed, And the sweet sticky food, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth’. For people of a certain age, it’s worth reading the whole poem – it may be too late to save all our teeth but the poem includes a memory inducing list of sweets we used to enjoy – gobstoppers, licorice allsorts, sherbert dib dabs. Mmmm.

It’s a rare person at my stage of life that isn’t having to give time and attention, and often financial investment, to their bodies. If we’re not careful these concerns can dominate conversations – dear Michaela – you always make me laugh when you describe these conversations about ailments as ‘organ recitals’ – I agree. We need to talk about our bodies – but ideally not all the time!

And of course, it’s not just bodies that fall apart. My mind is not as reliable as I once thought it to be. My memory is variable and it can be unnerving to realise that my thinking and reasoning can be shaky too these days. Like many of us I try to keep mental decline at bay with my daily language practice on Duolingo, with Sudokus and crosswords – and trying very hard to speak a whole sentence rather than starting it enthusiastically and confidently and then tailing off half way through. I’m long used to arriving in a room having completely forgotten why I headed in that direction – but I’m easily distracted, and there’s always a bit of cleaning to be done.

There are many Buddhist teachings about impermanence that hold a special message for me in life now. The Buddha taught that everything in the material realm falls apart. It is in the nature of ‘things’ to disintegrate, to cease to be. That includes bodies, minds, families, friendships, intimate relationships, even church congregations and buildings, political parties, causes dear to our hearts. All heading in the same direction.

At present I still have some capacity to put some things back together again. Yet I also know that amidst the tasks of repair lies the task of acceptance – acceptance of all that cannot be mended or repaired in life. But whilst I still have some of my faculties, I hope I can at times be useful to others. Even in this modern society the concept of an elder still holds some value and I so appreciate the younger people in my life who’ll occasionally ask my advice and allow me a glimpse into their world. And of course, these inter-generational relationships flow both ways. How can I possibly convey to you my gratitude for the next generations who can press buttons and make phones and iPads and TVs and church sound and recording systems work – seemingly just like that – magic! I know a 6-year-old who is more confident at making the TV work than I am. How lucky am I?! And it’s suitably humbling for a once capable professional woman – ‘not so clever now Tinker’ I remind myself. What did Pablo Neruda write in the poem we heard earlier on children, at times ‘observe us with the eyes of wise ancients’? I’ve experienced those young eyes observing me keenly, full of wisdom of the ancient ones.

I’m starting to feel the vulnerability that comes to many of us, that aching, disorientating sense of not knowing. That can feel very scary, that ineptness of not knowing. But just occasionally I get another perspective on my current stage of life, that’s almost exhilarating. If I’m not …… fill in the gap here – my profession, my family position, my particular skills and interests, even my character and usual way of being in the world – then what?

Buddhist monk and writer Pema Chodron is a great inspiration and she writes: “When things start to fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling. But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling. And that’s cause for celebration.”

‘Nothing lasts’ I keep being taught – and sometimes that understanding makes life seem so very sweet indeed. The Buddha’s last words from his deathbed to his followers were: ‘Things fall apart, tread the path with care’. A great reminder for me that nothing lasts – nothing lasts – so be mindful of it all tread with care. Appreciate every little detail, each sensation, each beauty, along with each pain. Nothing lasts - so enjoy it all with a passion, with a heart full of love and the deepest compassion for all of us, who are doing our best to hold it all together and put one foot in front of the other, knowing that both we, and the path, and all we encounter along our life’s journey are deliciously temporary, giddily out of our control, all falling apart – but sometimes dancing along in great, good company with one another, laughing and crying as we go. Amen.

Hymn (on sheet): ‘The Church Where Love Lives’

Let’s sing again. Our final hymn is on your hymn sheet: ‘The Church Where Love Lives’. I understand it’s become a bit of a regular in your repertoire lately and an uplifting one to finish.

The church where love lives is a safe place for all

Where we gather in wonder to remember God’s call,

To embody God’s vision of kindness and care

With each song that we sing, with each protest and prayer.

On this sacred foundation of faith and of trust

We are building a world that is gentle and just.

We rejoice and repent, offer praise and forgive

And we welcome all people to the church where love lives.

The church where love lives draws the stranger inside,

Making neighbours of strangers, no neighbour denied,

Till there’s heaven on earth and God’s will has been done,

Till the whole of creation is restored to its home.

On this sacred foundation of faith and of trust

We are building a world that is gentle and just.

We rejoice and repent, offer praise and forgive

And we welcome all people to the church where love lives.

The church where love lives is preparing a feast

For the pained and rejected, for the lost and the least,

For the deeply afraid, for the truly ashamed.

Come and sit at our table. Love has called you by name.

On this sacred foundation of faith and of trust

We are building a world that is gentle and just.

We rejoice and repent, offer praise and forgive

And we welcome all people to the church where love lives.

Announcements:

Thanks to Ramona for tech-hosting and Shari for co-hosting. Thanks to everyone who offered their reflections for today’s service – what a thoughtful bunch you are. Thanks to Tara, Tara, Jess and Phoebe for lovely music, George for accompanying our hymns, Benjie for supporting our singing. Thanks to Marianne for greeting and Julia for doing the coffee. For those of you who are here in-person – do stay behind after the service – you can stay all afternoon if you like! We have coffee hour, then our tea dance, and my birthday celebrations will go on until teatime.

I’m about to take some time off! I’ll be away for a few weeks (ish).

This Wednesday you can come along to the in-person poetry group with Brian. Let him know if you’re planning to come along and let him know what poems you’re planning to bring.

Friday at 7pm we’ve got our ‘Heart and Soul’ online contemplative spiritual gathering – this week we’re considering ‘Legacy’ – email Jennifer Sanders if you want to come as she’s leading on Friday.

Next Sunday my colleague Stephanie Bisby will lead a service titled ‘What Are We Called To?’. Please do come along and support our guest preachers while I’m on my holidays.

Next month’s Better World Book Club is on ‘Reading Lessons’ by Carol Atherton and I think we have one last copy left to loan out if you’d like to join us.

Details of all our various activities are printed on the back of the order of service, for you to take away, and also in the Friday email.  Or why not take home a copy of our newsletter?

The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.

Time for our closing words and closing music now.  

Benediction: based on words by Kendyl R. Gibbons

As we take our leave, and face the week ahead – whatever it may bring –

let us recall that there is, finally, only one thing required of us:

that is, to take life whole, the sunlight and shadows together;

to live the life that is given us with courage and humour and truth.

We have such a little moment out of the vastness of time

for all our wondering and wandering, living and loving.

Therefore let there be no half-heartedness or aimless drifting;

rather, let the soul be ardent in its yearning and in its praise.

And may peace enfold our days as we meet the days to come. Amen.

Closing Music: Haste to the Wedding (polka) and The Wedding Reel (reel) (performed by Tara Viscardi, Jess Collins, Phoebe Harty, and Tara McCarthy)

Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall and Congregation Members

4th May 2025