Spiritual Direction – 15/1/23

Musical Prelude: ‘R. Vaughan Williams – Study in English Folk Song no. 3 – Played by Abby Lorimier and Peter Crockford

Opening Words: ‘We Travel This Road Together’ by Tess Baumberger (adapted)

Please respond to this call to worship with the words: ‘We travel this road together’

From the busy-ness of everyday we gather once a week
to remember who we are, to dream of who we might become.
We travel this road together.

As companions on this journey, we share the milestones we meet along the way.
Individual moments of joy and sorrow become shared moments of comfort and celebration.
We travel this road together.

We share this journey across differences of belief and opinion
Because we value diversity and because we care for one another.
We travel this road together.

Through times of trial and turbulence, we contribute as best we can,
Showing up and supporting each other’s efforts as we work to fulfil our mission.
We travel this road together.

We are strengthened by those values that we share,
called onwards by the vision of a better world for all.
We travel this road together.

Today as we take the next steps, let us notice our fellow travellers:
The burdens that they carry, the songs that inspire their hearts.
We travel this road together.

As we gather in beloved community, let us open the holy havens of our hearts,
Let us share the sacred places of our souls, for we are pilgrims who share a common path.
We travel this road together. (pause)

Words of Welcome and Introduction:

These opening words, based on some by Tess Baumberger, welcome all those who have gathered this morning for our Sunday service. Welcome to those who have gathered in-person here at Essex Church and also to all who are joining us via Zoom from far and wide. We are glad to have you with us whether this is your first tentative visit or you’ve been part of the furniture for years and years. If we’ve not previously met, my name is Jane Blackall, ministry coordinator with Kensington Unitarians. Whoever you are, however you are, wherever you are, I hope you find some of what you need.

Today’s service is titled ‘Spiritual Direction’. We’re going to be considering firstly the formal practice of Spiritual Direction – that is, working with a Spiritual Director, someone who supports you in your attempts to learn and grow spiritually – to deepen your prayer life and your relationship with God – to tune in to the movements of the Spirit in your life and where it might be leading you. But we’re also going to consider spiritual direction in a broader sense – if each of us are on our own spiritual journey as we make our way through life – how might we best discern our path’s direction – and, if we have a sense of where we are meant to be going, then how we might faithfully stick to this calling.

But before we get into all that let’s take a moment to breathe. With a conscious breath or two we can ground ourselves in the present moment. And let’s shake off anything we don’t need to cling on to for the next hour or so. Maybe scrunch up your shoulders and then release them. We’ve all set this time aside to tend to matters of the spirit, and to reconnect with this, our religious community. We are kindred pilgrim souls, travelling side by side on the spiritual journey, through life and all its unexpected twists and turns. And we make this hour sacred with our presence and intention.

Chalice Lighting: ‘A Safer, Softer, Kinder Space’ by Jane Blackall

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. This simple ritual
connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over,
and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which we are a part.

(light chalice)

The lighting of this chalice calls us to attention –
as we focus on its flickering light for a moment
let us recall the collective intention that it represents –
to make this a safer, softer, kinder space – a place for sacred sharing –
in which we can re-connect with life’s depths and our highest aspirations –
a community of solidarity and trust to nurture and strengthen us for the days of our lives.

May this little candle be a beacon that lights the way,
guiding us through these still-uncertain times,
and inspiring each of us to paths
of peace, justice, and love.

Hymn 151 (green): ‘Be Thou My Vision’

Let’s sing together now. Our first hymn is ‘Be Thou My Vision’ – beautiful, traditional, words in keeping with our theme today – a prayer to be guided by God through the journey of life. It’s number 151 in the green hymnbook and for those joining via Zoom the words will be up on screen to sing along at home. Please stand or sit as you prefer as we sing: ‘Be Thou My Vision’.

Be thou my vision, O God of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that thou art;
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Be thou my wisdom and thou my true word,
I ever with thee and thou with me, God;
Thou my soul’s shelter, thou my high tower,
Raise thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor world’s empty praise,
Thou my inheritance, now and always;
Thou and thou only, first in my heart,
Sovereign of heaven, my treasure thou art.

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. This time we’re going to go to the people in the building first, and take all of those in one go, and then I’ll call on the people on Zoom to come forward.

So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us briefly who or what you light your candle for. We’re asking people to keep their masks on for this candle lighting – please keep your masks on – if you use the hand-held microphone, get it really close to your mask, and SPEAK UP, people should be able to hear what you’re saying. I really want to emphasise this – the people at home really want to hear what you’re saying – and if you don’t hold the microphone really close they simply can’t hear you. So point it directly at your face and keep it right up against your mask and that should do the trick. Thank you.

(in person candles)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Harry Lismer Short

And let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer now. This prayer is based on some quite old-fashioned, but also quite profound, words by Harry Lismer Short.

You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,
we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,
as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom
to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.
Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the
silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (pause)

God, you are ever calling us to live truly towards you,
and towards all those fellow human beings
with whom we share this earth, our home.

There is something in the natural world –
in its frequent beauty, its stirring life,
its onward flowing time – which moves our hearts.
There is the call of duty, and of human need,
and of friendship and companionship,
which forbids us to take a selfish ease.

There is a stirring within our own hearts –
desire for goodness, a hatred of wrongdoing,
a plea that we may be of service to a greater cause.
All summon us to do the best we can with our lives.

Give us the power to respond to your calling.
Cleanse our hearts; clarify our moral sense,
prevent us from excuses and subterfuges.
Here is a world which needs us, each in our place.
Each of us a unique individual, so that no-one else
can do the work which has been entrusted to us.
Let us know that we are enough just as we are;
and give us some happiness in our onward striving.

We look out on a troubled world, where there are so many fears and dangers.
In great affairs, perhaps, we can do little; but we do not know how much
we may contribute through our faithfulness in small things.
Help us to be amongst those who lift up and sustain.
We hold out hands of friendship and solidarity to all peoples of the world,
and pray that if opportunity for good comes to us we may not be found wanting.
Spirit of Life, God of All Love, we offer ourselves and our lives to you,
with all their imperfections, and pray that we may be used for good. (pause)

And in a quiet moment now, let us look back over the week just gone, to take stock of it all –
the many everyday cares and concerns of our own lives – and concentric circles of concern
rippling outwards – ‘til they enfold the entire world and all those lives which touch our own.
Let’s take a while to sit quietly in prayer with that which weighs heavy on our hearts this day.
(pause)

And let us also take a moment to notice all the good that has happened in the past week –
moments of uplift and delight; beauty and pleasure; all those acts of generosity and kindness.
The hopes and dreams and possibilities that are bubbling up and reminding us that we’re alive.
There’s lots to be grateful for. So let’s take a little while to sit quietly in prayer and give thanks. (pause)

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up
our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,
and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,
help us to live well each day and be our best selves;
using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen

Hymn (on sheet): ‘Blessed Spirit of My Life’

Let’s sing together now. Our next hymn is ‘Blessed Spirit of My Life’. If you’re here in-person it’s on your hymn sheet and for those joining via Zoom the words will be up on your screen to sing along at home. Please feel free to stand or sit, as you prefer, as we sing.

Blessed Spirit of my life,
give me strength through stress and strife;
help me live with dignity;
let me know serenity.
Fill me with a vision;
clear my mind of fear and confusion.
When my thoughts flow restlessly,
let peace find a home in me.

Spirit of great mystery,
hear the still, small voice in me.
Help me live my wordless creed
as I comfort those in need.
Fill me with compassion,
be the source of my intuition.
Then when life is done for me,
let love be my legacy.

In-Person Reading: ‘What is Spiritual Direction?’ (excerpts, adapted) by John R. Mabry (read by Sonya)

What is Spiritual Direction? There isn’t just one answer to this question. And any answer I could give would be incomplete. A poetic answer might be: two souls basking in the Divine Presence. A clinical answer might be: it’s a helping profession in which the director assists the client (or ‘directee’) in their spiritual flourishing. A theological answer might be: one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread (this was Martin Luther’s definition of ministry in general).

But for the purposes of this book, for those wondering about spiritual direction, I’m going to say: In spiritual direction, two or more seekers enter sacred space to dream, explore, and discern a path toward personal wholeness and deeper intimacy with the Divine. Usually, this journey is a one-to-one meeting, with one seeker acting in service to the other. Often, they speak. Often, they don’t.

Along the way, they talk about just about everything that happens in life – work, play, relationships, personal struggles – but always the conversation comes back to a central question: how is the Divine wooing us, calling us into deeper and deeper intimacy?

As we go deeper in spiritual direction, more questions emerge: What is the Divine “up to” in all our daily ups and downs? How is the Divine moving and nudging and forming us, through both our triumphs and our defeats? How do we resist the Divine call? How does the Divine push us beyond our comfort zones? What does it require of us? What is it calling us to? In what ways are we out of congruence with the deepest truth of our souls – with this Divine calling – and how does this limit us? How can we move into deep places of interior freedom that are transformative and healing and liberating, not only for us, but for the world?

Those are Big Questions. Spiritual direction is often the only place that many of us have to deeply explore such questions, witnessed by another soul, without judgement or condescension.

Spiritual direction is also a place to work through big decisions in our lives, where we can consider which choices are more in congruence with our soul, with our deepest longings, and with the sacred covenants we have made. A word that is very important in the spiritual direction community is “discernment”. Whether we are discerning how the Divine is showing up in our lives, or discerning life changes large or small, discernment is a primary focus in spiritual direction.

People of many faiths – and none – are discovering that spiritual direction is a helpful ministry for them. Most commonly people come to direction because they want to grow closer to the Divine, they want a richer, more fulfilling spiritual life, or they want support as they deepen their spiritual practice. Spiritual direction can meet us where we are at, and it can continue to support us, as we change and grow spiritually. So maybe this practice could be of value to you…

Meditation: ‘The Path’ by Lynn Ungar

Thanks Sonya. We’re moving into a time of meditation now. I’m going to share a poem by Lynn Ungar, called ‘The Path’, which plays with the familiar metaphor of life as a journey, a journey on which we might seek direction, when we are discerning which way to turn next, which trail we should follow. The poem will take us into a few minutes of shared silence which will end with the sound of a bell. Then we’ll hear some soothing meditation music from Abby and Peter. So once again let’s each do what we need to do to get comfortable – adjust your position if you need to – perhaps put your feet flat on the floor to ground and steady yourself – maybe close your eyes. As we always say, the words and music are just an offering, feel free to use this time to meditate in your own way. ‘The Path’ by Lynn Ungar.

Life, the saying goes, is a journey,
and who could argue with that?
We’ve all experienced the surprising turns,
the nearly-impassable swamp, the meadow
of flowers that turned out not to be quite
so blissful and benign as we first thought,
the crest of the hill where the road
smoothed out and sloped toward home.

Our job, we say, is to remain faithful
to the path before us. Which is an assumption
as common as it is absurd.
Really? Look ahead. What do you see?
If there is a path marked out in front of you
it was almost certainly laid down for someone else.
The path only unfolds behind us,
our steps themselves laying down the road.
You can look back and see the sign posts—
the ones you followed and the ones you missed—
but there are no markers for what lies ahead.

You can tell the story of how
you forded the stream or got lost
on the short cut that wasn’t,
how you trekked your way to courage or a heart,
but all of that comes after the fact.

There is no road ahead.
There is only the walking,
the tales we weave of our adventures,
and the songs we sing
to call our companions on.

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell

Musical Interlude: ‘Cradle Song’ – Frank Bridge Played by Abby Lorimier and Peter Crockford

Reflection: ‘On Spiritual Direction’ by Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall

I wonder how many among us gathered here this morning – whether in-person, or via zoom – are already familiar with the practice of Spiritual Direction? Perhaps it’s a completely new concept to some, maybe for others it’s something you’d heard of but only had a vague sense of what it’s all about, and I know of at least a few who are seeing Spiritual Directors or who have done so in the past. I can’t quite remember when I first came across the idea but I think it was when I heard of a fellow Unitarian going through the training to become a Spiritual Director about a decade ago. I remember thinking ‘ooh that sounds cool’ and then in the next breath thinking ‘I have no idea what it actually is though’ and having to go and look it up.

Our first reading, by John R. Mabry, which Sonya gave for us earlier, helps to explain what it is: that piece was from a book titled ‘Starting Spiritual Direction’ which is aimed at people who are curious about the possibility of giving it a go. Among the various definitions he gives is this pretty prosaic one: ‘Spiritual Direction is a helping profession in which the director assists the client (or ‘directee’) in their spiritual flourishing’. From the outside it looks much like therapy or counselling – the Director and Directee meet regularly (though typically not quite as frequently as you would with a therapist, maybe once every 4-6 weeks), and the Director listens way more than they speak, as the Directee shares about the goings-on of their life – the key difference is the explicitly spiritual focus and framing of the process. Some people – including Spiritual Directors – feel that the term ‘Direction’ can be a bit misleading as in most cases it’s not particularly directive; the Director isn’t a guru telling you what to do with your life (though there may be some gentle nudging, and if you want more input, Spiritual Directors will usually be willing to suggest some practices to try, or some further reading to look at).

I quite like the definition of Spiritual Direction from Liz Budd Ellman which is on the front of the printed order of service (and which, if you’re joining via zoom, can be found in the full-text of the service on our website). She says: ‘Spiritual direction is a process of accompanying people on a spiritual journey and helping them grow closer to God (or the sacred, the holy, or a higher power). Gradually, as you contemplate, you may begin to recognize God’s presence and grace in your life. Spiritual direction helps people learn how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, and as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names.’ Words by Liz Budd Ellmann.

There are a number of things I appreciate about that definition but one of them is that it is quite broad and – I think – it is one that you might be able to relate to, to some degree, even if you’re a bit unsure about God-language. I think that last bit chimes pretty well with what I think we’re trying to do here as a congregation: ‘recognising grace in our lives… and learning how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, and as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names’.

At this point I should fess up, for those who don’t already know, that I trained as a Spiritual Director a few years ago. Please be reassured – I’m not touting for business – we’re not supposed to work with people we already know in other contexts which basically means I don’t do Direction with Unitarians! The reason I mention this though is that I was trained by – and trained alongside – Christians of various stripes: Anglican, Baptist, Methodist, Quaker, a few Evangelicals. And it was reassuring to discover how much we had in common, in terms of our lives, our values, and our spiritual journeys. Even if the details of our faiths differed, in terms of our preferred language, rituals, and traditions, there was a huge amount we could learn from each other, as we all had to do a bit of ‘translation’ back and forth while we spent three years practicing the process of Spiritual Direction on each other.

So if you’re someone who tends to switch off at the first hint of God-language I encourage you to reconsider! Hang on in there and see if you can ‘translate’ to make it work for you. Because this process of Spiritual Direction, and the principles underlying it, can have value for anyone who sees the value in reflecting on their life in the light of some kind of deeper purpose: the value of, as Liz Budd Ellman put it, ‘recognising grace in our lives… and learning how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice, as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names’. Even if that phrase doesn’t grab you, there might be another way of articulating what it is you would like your one wild and precious life to be spent on, what it is that is most meaningful to you, and the process of Spiritual Direction can help you focus on that, and its implications for your life and how you live it.

Having said that: I’m not trying to make the case for you all going out and finding Spiritual Directors! I’m not on commission! Though if it is a thing you would like to try I can make a few suggestions as to where you might find someone suitable to work with. The point of today’s service is more to draw out a few insights from the formal practice of Spiritual Direction which might be more broadly applicable. Although working one-to-one like this is really valuable there are also things we can do by ourselves (or indeed things we can do in a community like this one when we gather to reflect in small groups).

When someone meets with their Spiritual Director, once a month or so – to look at their life as it unfolds, to consider the path they are on, the turns they are taking, perhaps decisions that lie ahead – there are some Big Questions that are always there in the background. And it’s the job of the Director to keep drawing your attention back to these underlying questions, and noticing how they relate to the story of your life as you tell it, and the real-world matters you are wrestling with, in all your everyday concerns. If God-language works for you those underlying questions might be: ‘How are you and God doing right now?’ (as in ‘what’s the state of your relationship with God?’) or ‘How is your prayer life at the moment?’ or ‘Do you sense that God is saying anything to you at this time?’ or ‘Where have you detected God’s presence at work in your life?’ Or if God-language doesn’t work for you then the underlying questions might be something more like: ‘What is making you feel most alive right now?’ or ‘How is the life you are living in tune with your deepest values and your sense of purpose?’ or ‘What do you sense you are being called to do with your one wild and precious life?’

On the spiritual journey, it helps to have some consistent reference point, some ‘North Star’, to guide us as we go – so we can check we’re on track with where we’re meant to be (or at least where we aspire to be) – and to help us discern what our next faithful step along the way might be. For many of the people I trained with, and work with, they are firmly situated in the Christian tradition, and so their reference point or ‘North Star’ is clear: the model for life is the person of Jesus, or perhaps more mystically the Cosmic Christ, and their aim is to deepen their relationship with God. For many mainstream Christians the work of Spiritual Direction is about ‘discipleship’ and how to live their life in a way that embodies their religious commitment to follow Jesus’ teachings and example. Even with this clear starting point, though, there is still a huge amount of discernment for each person to do to work out what that means in practice, and what the implications might be for their day-to-day life choices in a complex world. And if you’re not Christian – or not straightforwardly Christian – you might have to do a bit more preparatory work and discernment to identify what your spiritual reference point, your ‘North Star’, might be. Perhaps you have an inner gang of saints and exemplars – historical or mythical figures – who symbolise what is of ultimate worth for you, who remind you of the highest good in this life, and serve as an inspiration for your own spiritual journey. Or maybe your touchstones are a collection of more abstract philosophical virtues and moral values you want to uphold. Maybe it’s more concrete than that and you have a really strong sense of calling as to the contribution you are meant to be making to humanity during your all-too-brief span on Earth.

Whichever it is, it’s helpful to articulate it, if only to yourself, and touch base with your ‘North Star’ often – you might find it will help you find your way on this messy and complicated journey of life – whether it’s with the support of a professional Spiritual Director, by yourself, or in community, perhaps you could put a date in your diary once a month to check in with yourself (and with God), to come back to some of those Big Questions about life, and reflect on your own ‘spiritual direction’. How are you and God doing? What is your calling in life? Are you living in tune with your values? Where is the Spirit at work in your everyday life? What is making you feel most alive right now?

To close I just want to offer one more echo of those words from Liz Budd Ellman – her description of spiritual direction – but remixed and reframed as a blessing for all of us on this journey of life.

We are people on a spiritual journey.
May we be good travelling companions to each other.
As we wend our way on this path may we grow ever closer to God, to Spirit,
and may we become ever more attuned to the sacred depths of this life that we share.
May we recognize God’s Grace and Life’s Goodness in each day we are given.
And may we learn how to live in peace, with compassion, promoting justice,
as humble servants of that which lies beyond all names.
May it be so, for the greater good of all. Amen.

Hymn 235 (green): ‘A Melody of Love’

It’s time for our last hymn now – one which speaks of finding God (however we might understand God) – in all the stuff of our everyday lives: ‘A Melody of Love’. Sit or stand as you prefer as we sing.

God speaks to us in bird and song,
In winds that drift the clouds along,
Above the din of toil and wrong,
A melody of love.

God speaks to us in far and near,
In peace of home and friends most dear,
From the dim past and present clear,
A melody of love.

God speaks to us in darkest night,
By quiet ways through mornings bright,
When shadows fall with evening light,
A melody of love.

God speaks to us in every land,
On wave-lapped shore and silent strand,
By kiss of child and touch of hand,
A melody of love.

O voice divine, speak thou to me,
Beyond the earth, beyond the sea;
First let me hear, then sing to thee
A melody of love.

Announcements:

Thanks to Ramona for tech-hosting and Jeannene for co-hosting. Thanks to Abby and Peter for playing for us. Thanks to Sonya for reading. For those of you who are at here in-person, David will be serving refreshments after the service, if you want to stay and chat – thanks David – thanks Patricia for greeting. There will be virtual coffee on Zoom with Jeannene too so do hang around for a chat.

We have various small group activities for you to meet up. There are still spaces left for our Heart and Soul gatherings (online Sunday/Friday at 7pm) and this week’s theme is ‘The Long Game. Coffee morning is online at 10.30am Wednesday if you want to come and set the world to rights. Apologies if you were expecting to stay on for a singing class with Margaret – she’s been poorly so we’ve cancelled today – she’ll be back on the third Sunday of next month all being well.

Our service next Sunday will be hybrid once again and it’ll be led by my good friend Rev. Michael Allured, minister with Golders Green Unitarians, on the theme of ‘Restful Resolutions’. Details of these activities and all our events are on the back of the order of service and also in the Friday email.

Also in the email this week you’ll have seen a reminder that if you consider yourself to be a member of this congregation then we need you to confirm your membership via the Google Form ASAP. The vast majority of regulars have already done this – thank you – and if you have filled the Google Form in at any point since we launched it in the autumn then you don’t need to do it again. This is just us trying to make sure that everyone who thinks they’re a member is officially on this list ready for any voting that might be occurring on congregational and denominational matters in the months ahead.

The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.

I think that’s everything. Just time for our closing words and closing music now.

Benediction: ‘Blessed is the Path’ by Eric Williams

Blessed is the path on which you travel.
Blessed is the body that carries you upon it.
Blessed is your heart that has heard the call.
Blessed is your mind that discerns the way.
Blessed is the gift that you will receive by going.

And truly blessed is the gift that you will become on the journey.
May you go forth with courage and in peace to meet the days to come. Amen.

Closing Music: ‘Greensleeves’ – English Trad. – played by Abby Lorimier and Peter Crockford

Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall

15th January 2023