Hidden Battles – 26/02/23

Musical Prelude: played by Peter Crockford

Opening Words: ‘We Pause This Hour’ by Bruce Southworth

We gather this hour to pause; to honour the spirit and to accept
ourselves as fragile humans, equally full of nobility and strength.

We gather, weary – perhaps – of life’s many trials,
yet cheered by infinite possibilities for love’s grace.

We meet with smiles and glad voices for old friends and new –
every stranger a gift of potential friendship and mutual consolation.

We rejoice in the keen mind and the warm heart.

We remember those whose opportunities and needs our society thwarts,
and we give thanks for the blessings that are ours, even in the midst of struggle.

We praise all who extend a hand in service and whose vision of justice commands action.

We pause; we gather; we meet; we rejoice; we remember; we give thanks; we praise;
We proclaim our community – as we gather this morning to worship together.

Words of Welcome and Introduction:

These opening words, by Bruce Southworth, welcome all those who have gathered this morning for our Sunday service. Welcome to those who have gathered in-person here at Essex Church and also to all who are joining us via Zoom from far and wide. We are glad to have you with us this day. If we’ve not previously met, my name is Jane Blackall, ministry coordinator with Kensington Unitarians. Whoever you are, however you are, wherever you are, I hope you find some of what you need.

Today’s service is titled ‘Hidden Battles’ and it’s mostly led by our guest preacher, my friend and colleague the Reverend Dr Rory Castle-Jones, minister with Gellionnen Unitarians in Wales. That’s a bit far for him to travel so he’s pre-recorded a story and a sermon for us. In the coming hour we’ll take time to reflect on the well-known saying: ‘be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.’

Let’s take a moment before we go any further to settle ourselves, arrive, and prepare for worship. We’ve each chosen to take some time out of the everyday doings of our lives to be here this morning. So let’s take a conscious breath. And another. And with each exhalation let’s visualise a letting go. A setting aside of anything we’ve come in carrying. We can pick it up later if need be. Let us bring our whole selves to the here and now, as we consecrate this hour with our presence and intention.

Chalice Lighting: ‘Struggle and Joy’ by Vance Bass

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. This simple ritual connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over, and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which we are a part.

(light chalice)

Every day brings struggle,
every day brings joy.
Every day brings us the opportunity
to ease the struggle of another,
to be the joy in another’s life.
May this flame remind us
to carry our light to each other
and to the world.

Hymn 191 (green): ‘To Worship Rightly’

Let’s sing together now. Our first hymn today is ‘To Worship Rightly’. It’s number 191 in the green hymnbook and it’s a very well-known tune. For those joining via Zoom the words will be up on screen to sing along. Please stand or sit as you prefer as we sing: To Worship Rightly.

Now let us sing in loving celebration;
The holier worship, which our God may bless,
Restores the lost, binds up the spirit broken,
And feeds the widow and the parentless.
Fold to thy heart thy sister and thy brother;
Where pity dwells, the peace of God is there;
To worship rightly is to love each other;
Each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.

Follow with reverent steps the great example
Of those whose holy work was doing good:
So shall the wide earth seem our daily temple,
Each loving life a psalm of gratitude.
Then shall all shackles fall; the stormy clangour
Of wild war-music o’er the earth shall cease;
Love shall tread out the baleful fire of anger,
And in its ashes plant the tree of peace.

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. This time we’re going to go to the people in the building first, and take all of those in one go, and then I’ll call on the people on Zoom to come forward.

So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us briefly who or what you light your candle for. We’re asking people to keep their masks on for this candle lighting – please keep your masks on – if you use the hand-held microphone, get it really close to your mask, and SPEAK UP, people should be able to hear what you’re saying. I really want to emphasise this – the people at home really want to hear what you’re saying – and if you don’t hold the microphone really close they simply can’t hear you. So point it directly at your face and keep it right up against your mask and that should do the trick. Thank you.

(in person candles)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Elizabeth Bukey

And let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer now. This prayer is based on some words by Elizabeth Bukey.

You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,
we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,
as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom
to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.
Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the
silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (pause)

We gather in reverence and thanks for You,
Ground of our Being, Source of all Good.
We are grateful for the gift of another breath,
and for each moment of connection, beauty, and truth.

Cry with us in our pain for our world.
Remind us that we are loved, just as we are.
Remind us that we are connected with all that is.
Remind us that we do not journey alone.

Give us what we need for today.
Call us back to our promises, commitments, and values.
Help us love ourselves and each other,
And to show that love in our actions.

Make us instruments of justice, equity, and compassion.
Free us from all that is evil; keep us from wrong.
We declare that life and love are stronger than tyranny and fear,
That a world of beauty and love is coming,
And we must shape it together. (pause)

In a few moments of shared stillness now, let us call to mind those people and situations who are on our hearts this morning, thinking of all those issues that concern us close to home, and those troubled places the world over, and let us hold them gently in loving-kindness. (pause)

And let us hold ourselves in loving-kindness too. Each of us carries our own private burdens.
Life is tough for so many right now. It can be hard to make it through the daily struggles.
So let us rest in self-compassion now as we ask silently for what we need this day. (pause)

And let us take a moment to reflect on the week just gone in a spirit of gratitude; let us notice and give thanks for those blessings, large or small, that have helped to lift our weary spirits.
Maybe we can prepare our hearts to notice life’s goodness in the week ahead. (pause)

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up
our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,
and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,
help us to live well each day and be our best selves;
using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen

Hymn 33 (green): ‘Do You Hear?’

Let’s sing together now. Our next hymn is ‘Do You Hear?’. If you’re here in-person it’s number 33 in your hymn books and the words will also be up on your screen to sing along at home. Please feel free to stand or sit, as you prefer, as we sing.

Do you hear, O my friend, in the place where you stand,
Through the sky, through the land, do you hear, do you hear,
In the heights, on the plain, in the vale, on the main,
In the sun, in the rain, do you hear, do you hear?

Through the roar, through the rush, through the throng, through the crush,
Do you hear in the hush of your soul, of your soul,
Hear the cry fear won’t still, hear the heart’s call to will,
Hear a sigh’s startling trill, in your soul, in your soul?

From the place where you stand, to the outermost strand,
Do you hear, O my friend, do you hear, do you hear,
All the dreams, all the dares, all the sighs, all the prayers –
They are yours, mine, and theirs: do you hear, do you hear?

Story: ‘The Wise Sailimai: A Tale from China’ read by Rory Castle-Jones (video)

Long, long ago in the country of China, lived a young woman of the Muslim Hui people named Sailimai. Although she was a farm girl, too poor to attend school, Sailimai nonetheless paid close attention to life around her. When an old woman in the village needed help – but was too proud to ask for it – Sailimai would know just the right time to visit. When children scraped their knees, Sailimai arrived to assist, even if they were not her own children. She may have been poor and unschooled but Sailimai possessed a wise and deep heart.

Once, her father-in-law, a carpenter named Ali, was ordered by the emperor to make some repairs in his palace. Fearful of doing less than his best for the emperor, Ali pushed himself to work his very hardest, working both day and night. Yet, as it sometimes happens, the time came when Ali went beyond his limits. Dizzy with fatigue, hands shaking, momentarily careless, Ali tipped over the emperor’s most precious vase. The pieces shattered – all too loudly – in the great hall. Servants came running.

Soon enough the emperor heard the story of his ruined, priceless vase.

“Bring this carpenter to me at once,” he demanded.

Handcuffed and escorted by three guards, Ali, trembling, stood speechless before the emperor. The emperor drew his sword. As it hovered over Ali’s head, Ali at last spoke up: “Forgive me your worship! I did not meant to break the vase. I promise to pay for it. I promise to pay!”

The emperor lowered his sword just a bit. “A poor, old Hui like yourself could never replace such a treasure. Do not jest with me!”

“Have mercy on me,” Ali begged. “I will pay.”

The emperor re-sheathed his sword with a sly smile. “Very well old Hui. I do not expect you to replace my vase. Instead, I will give you ten days to find me four things.” The emperor hesitated in thought, tugging lightly on his beard. “The first thing you must get me is something more black than the bottom of a pan. Second: you must find me something clearer than a mirror.” The emperor waited a moment, watching Ali’s reaction, but Ali stared blankly at the floor. The emperor continued. “The third: something stronger than steel.” The emperor smirked. “And lastly, find me something as vast as the sea. If you fail at any of these, I will chop off your head.” Finished, the emperor smiled broadly, quite pleased with himself.

Ali looked stricken. How, he wondered, could I achieve these impossible tasks? Does the emperor simply wish to torture me for the last ten days of my life? Sick with dread, he hung his head, turned away and headed home.

For the next week he could neither eat nor sleep. His family knew that something was terribly amiss, but Ali would not discuss it. “Please Father,” Sailimai said, calling her father-in-law by the customary term of respect. “What is the trouble? Perhaps we can help.” Begging and pleading, Sailimai at last coaxed Ali into talking. He cradled between his hands and wept as he named the emperor’s four impossible tasks.

But Sailimai responded as if these were everyday requests. “This isn’t a problem! Father, don’t worry. I will have all these things when the emperor comes tomorrow. I shall present them to him myself!”

Ali assumed that Sailimai was only trying to comfort him. He didn’t want her to get into trouble with the emperor too. “Don’t be foolish, Sailimai,” he warned. These four things do not exist. The emperor just wanted to make me suffer further before killing me.”

Sailimai persisted. “Father, I really do have these things. I know you don’t believe me now. But wait until tomorrow. I will show them to both you and the emperor!”

And so it was that the very next day, the tenth day since the broken vase, the emperor appeared – surrounded by troops – at Ali’s door. “Old Hui! Come forward and give to me the four things you owe me,” bellowed the emperor.

Ali came outside with Sailimai by his side. They both bowed humbly, never daring to meet the emperor’s gaze. Sailimai then stepped forward. “Your majesty,” she said, “The four things you requested are ready to be presented. Please name them one by one.”

“The first thing I must have,” said the emperor, “”is that which is more black than the bottom of a pot.” He touched the sheath of his sword with a glint in his eye.

Sailimai answered, “This, your majesty, can be found in a bottomless, greedy heart.”

The emperor hid his surprise. This girl, he reassured himself, cannot be so smart. She is a farm girl. He nodded briefly. “The next thing you must present is something more clear than a mirror. Do you have that?” he asked.

Sailimai asked: “Yes. Knowledge offers a clarity greater than any mirror.”

The emperor looked dumbstruck. “Well,” he stammered, “Do you have something stronger than steel to give me?”

“Love,” said Sailimai, “is the strongest thing in the world.”

Knowing he had been bested, the emperor stood speechless. Ali glanced at Sailimai, and stood a little taller. At last the emperor cleared his throat and made his last request. “And what do you have, that could possibly as vast as the sea?” he asked.

“A virtuous heart is as vast as the sea, your majesty.” Her head lowered, Sailimai smiled and said no more.

Flustered and humbled, the emperor sputtered, “It’s time to leave. Old Hui, you are hereby pardoned!” He turned to his troops and shouted, “March!”

As the emperor of China distanced himself, Sailimai held her father-in-law’s hand. Together, she and Ali bowed in relief and gratitude to Allah. Because of her wise heart, Ali could now live a long and happy life.

Meditation: ‘The Story’ by Lynn Ungar

We’re moving into a time of meditation now. To take us into the time of meditation I’m going to share a short poem by Lynn Ungar – it’s called ‘The Story’ – so in a sense it follows on nicely from Rory’s story – but it invites reflection on the stories of our own lives and all their twists and turns. The poem will take us into a few minutes of shared silence which will end with the sound of a bell. Then we’ll hear some soothing music from Peter. So once again let’s each do what we need to do to get comfortable – adjust your position if you need to – put your feet flat on the floor to ground and steady yourself – close your eyes. As we always say, the words and music are an offering, feel free to use this time to meditate in your own way. ‘The Story’ by Lynn Ungar.

I’ll tell you a secret.
There is no happy ending.
Also no tragic conclusion.
The prince and princess don’t
live happily ever after.
They live happily sometimes,
and sometimes they are stricken
with so much grief that they know
their hearts will explode—
which never actually happens—
and sometimes they are
well and truly and deeply
bored, and ready for the tiniest
of catastrophes to shake them awake.
They will not, of course,
live ever after. No one does.
But they might have children
who carry on the royal line,
or friends who tell the story
of how the witch showed up
at the baby shower, or maybe
they planted trees. One way
or another the story
inevitably continues.
Pray that it is some kind of
story about love.

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell

Musical Interlude: ‘Erbarm’ Dich Mein’ – J L Krebs played by Peter Crockford

Sermon: ‘Hidden Battles’ by Rev. Dr. Rory Castle-Jones

“The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34, verse 18

There is an old Jewish proverb that says: “Everyone we meet is fighting a great battle, so be kind.” How simple, how powerful, and how true those words are. “Everyone we meet is fighting a great battle, so be kind.” My question for you today is: What battle are you fighting?

Today, on Sunday the 26th of February 2023, there are just shy of 8 billion people living on planet earth: 8 billion individual and unique souls, with stories to tell. 746 million of those are living on the continent of Europe. 67 million of those are living in the UK. 9 million of those are living in London. 156 thousand 1 hundred and 97 of those are living in Kensington & Chelsea, where your church can be found…

And here, in the small village in the Swansea Valley in South Wales where I live, 874 people live, including me and my husband and many members of the congregation of Gellionnen Unitarian Chapel, where I am privileged to serve as the minister. One of our previous ministers, Reverend Eirion Phillips, left this place and went off to London, where he served as your minister at Kensington. And I myself trained alongside the wonderful Rev. Jane Blackall, who serves your congregation today. So there are many links and strands connecting us already, And I was delighted to be invited to deliver the sermon for your worship today.

Of those 8 billion living, breathing souls on our planet – including of course all of us here this morning, How many, I wonder, are fighting hidden battles in their lives today? The answer, that ancient Jewish proverb gives us, is: all of them. Every single person on earth today is fighting their own hidden battle. And what’s more, very often those people around them have absolutely no idea what battles are raging beneath the surface of their neighbour, their co-worker, their friend, their spouse, or their child. The question for us all this morning is: What battle are you fighting today?

Fear not, I’m not asking you to shout out and tell us all your innermost struggles. For some of us, the answer will be clear, immediate, and painful. For some of us, our hidden battle will be raging powerfully and violently today. For others, life’s battles will be more distant, calm and quiet today – although they are always there somewhere.

Our battles can come in many different shapes and sizes: Mental health struggles. Depression. Anxiety. Loss, grief and mourning. Physical illness. Addiction. Loneliness. Abuse. Being bullied. Questioning our sexuality or gender identity. Grappling with our faith. Caring responsibilities for relatives, parents, spouses or children. Money worries. Unhappiness at work. Trying to find our path in life. I could go on, and on, and on. Because the list of battles we go through in our lives in endless. Life is, as they used to say, a vale of tears.

One of the key functions of religious communities – whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim or another – is to create sacred spaces where people can bring these struggles, and know that they are not alone. Sometimes, this means sharing them with one or two other people. Sometimes, it can mean sharing them with the whole congregation. And other times, it means choosing to share them only with God, in our silent, private prayers.

As it says in the 34th psalm: “The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” For the Jewish people who wrote the psalms – God is a God of love, mercy and compassion, And this is the same God we worship here today: A God who knows the hidden battles of every single soul on the planet, and hears our cries for help, and loves us through each and every one of the battles we face in our lives, from the cradle to the grave, and beyond.

We don’t leave our battles at home when we come to church on a Sunday, we bring them with us. We bring them to a place where we know we will find others, with battles of their own, coming together to laugh and to cry, to share with others, or to quietly reflect alone. We bring our hidden battles to a place where can we can find support, community, and hope.

The greatest privilege for me since beginning my ministry at Gellionnen Chapel, two years ago, has been to be invited into the lives and the hidden battles of members of the congregation, and into the lives and battles of our wider community here in the Swansea Valley.

When we open ourselves up and invite someone in, we can sometimes find that they have tools, experience and wisdom that can help us. I have certainly found that to be true when I have needed help. Sometimes, just a silent listener, is in fact all we need. But of course, opening ourselves up makes us vulnerable too, and we need to know that this person is someone we can trust with our most precious feelings and stories.

Just like the other 8 billion souls on this planet, I of course have had my own hidden battles in my life. When I think about the proverb: “Everyone we meet is fighting a great battle, so… be kind.” it reminds me of one particular day in my own life. Almost twenty years ago, when I was a sixteen year old schoolboy. One morning very early I remember vividly being woken up by my Dad, with a sad and concerned look on his face. He told me, as I was slowly waking up, that his mother, my Nan, who I loved very much, had died.

My Nan was very much a no-nonsense kind of lady, who grew up in the East End of London – in Haggerston and Shoreditch – during the Great Depression and the Blitz. And this no-nonsense spirit is part of our family’s attitude to the battles of life, including death. And so, after breaking the news to me and my brother on that day twenty years ago, we got dressed, had our breakfast, and went off to school, as if it was a normal day.

Throughout that school day I remember feeling as though I was covered in a hazy cloud. I was there, certainly, but I was far from present. It was as though I was wearing a mask. I went to my lessons, answered questions from the teachers, ate my lunch, and listened as my friends chatted. But I remember feeling beneath the surface an intense desire to run, somewhere far away. To cry. To scream. To explode. But I couldn’t.

I also remember feeling totally incapable of telling my friends or anyone around me that my Nan had died. It was private, personal, raw. And the last thing I wanted to do was to talk about it, to make it real, to show my feelings. And so, I smiled, acted normal, and carried on with my day.

That day, I was fighting a hidden battle we all face at different times in our lives. That of losing someone we love. The battle of loss, grief and mourning. I remember at the end of the school day, just before we were going home, one of my friends took me aside and said: “you’ve been acting strangely all day, you’ve been grumpy and have hardly spoken. What’s wrong? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Because this was a friend who I trusted and who I knew cared about me, I remember that I told them the truth. And I remember them saying: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just tell me at the beginning of the day? Maybe I could have helped…”

When I think back to that day now, it occurs to me how lucky I was to have people around me who saw that I was acting strangely and worked out that something must be wrong, that perhaps I was fighting an internal battle, entirely unknown to them.

In the story we heard earlier, the wise Sailimai observed her father-in-law Ali’s hidden battle, and coaxed him into confiding in her. If she hadn’t, Ali would have ended up getting his head chopped off by the Emperor of China! Sometimes, we need to share our problems with others to find the way forward. Often though in these situations, when people close to us act strangely, or grumpily, or rudely, or withdraw from us, we can react by taking offense, or by judging them. Instead, we might try pausing and asking: “What hidden battle are you facing today?” And perhaps asking if they are OK, if they want to talk, like Sailimai did for her father-in-law, or my schoolfriend did for me on that day twenty years ago.

The same is true for the person who cuts in front of us in the supermarket queue, or forgets to indicate at the roundabout, or doesn’t say thank you when we hold a door open for them. What if instead of ranting, swearing and cursing that person, we pause and ask that question: “What hidden battle are they facing today?” Perhaps they’re not just being rude or selfish or ignorant, perhaps the personal battle they are fighting that day is so great that it is taking every fibre of their being just to survive, just to get through the day.

I want to end now by asking us all to try to hold that proverb in our minds in the week ahead, and see if it helps us in our interactions with those around us, from our closest loved ones to the irritating person in the supermarket! Wouldn’t it be a much better world for all of us if we took the simple advice of the ancient Jewish proverb: “Everyone we meet is fighting a great battle, so… just be kind”. AMEN

Hymn 284 (green): ‘Goodnight Hymn’

Time for our last hymn, and it’s one of my favourites, the ‘Goodnight Hymn’. For those of you who don’t know it we put aside the fact that it’s not really the right time of day to sing it. The sentiment is more important and we might think of singing it to each other as a blessing for the week ahead.

To you each, my friends, tonight
I give thanks for company;
We have shared the inner light:
May that light go forth with thee.
May we give each other power –
Live with courage every hour.

As we face the coming week,
With its worries and its strife,
Strength and wisdom let us seek
In this hour’s remembered life.
May we give each other power –
Live with courage every hour.

In our homes and in the street,
In a world with sadness rife,
May we show to all we meet
Glory that we find in life.
May we give each other power –
Live with courage every hour.

To you each, my friends, tonight
I give thanks for company;
We have shared the inner light:
May that light go forth with thee.
May we give each other power –
Live with courage every hour.

Announcements:

Thanks so much to Rory, our guest preacher today, all the way from Gellionnen. Thanks to Jeannene for tech-hosting and Maria for co-hosting. Thanks to Peter for playing for us – welcome back – and to Margaret for supporting our singing. For those of you who are here in-person, Marianne will be serving refreshments (including apple cake) after the service – thanks Marianne – thanks to Julia for greeting today. There will be virtual coffee on Zoom with Maria so do hang around for a chat.

We have various small group activities for you to meet up. There are still spaces left for our Heart and Soul gatherings (online Sunday/Friday at 7pm) and this week’s theme is ‘Kindness’. Coffee morning is online at 10.30am Wednesday if you want to come along and chat.

Looking a little further ahead the in-person poetry group will be meeting on Wednesday 1st March so have a word with Brian if you’d like to join in with that and share your poetry choices.

Our service next Sunday will be hybrid once again and it’s a congregational service on ‘Gold Stars’. Details of all our events are on the back of the order of service and also in the Friday email.

The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.

I think that’s everything. Just time for our closing words and closing music now.

Benediction:

To this hour we have brought our broken hearts,
our crushed spirits, and our hidden battles.
We have brought too our joys, our dreams,
our smiles, and our hopes for the future.
May we go from here with the blessing of God,
and the comfort we have found in loving community,
in the knowledge that while our battles may go on,
We need not face them alone. Amen.

Closing Music: ‘You Raise Me Up’ – Lovland & Graham played by Peter Crockford

Rev. Dr. Rory Castle-Jones and Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall

26th February 2023