All About Me?

Musical Prelude: ‘Pelicans Crossing’ by Paul Harris – Benjie del Rosario & Peter Crockford

Opening Words: ‘What Brings You Here?’ by Bob Janis-Dillon (adapted)

What brings you here?

You have come, perhaps,
to be with others who care about
what it means to live on this beautiful blue-green world.

You have come to be with your innermost self,
to feel the deep wells within you
brimming with courage and vision.

You have come to rest, and to be quiet,
to be renewed by not having to be anyone
other than who you are right now.

You have come to cry out, to rattle the walls
that contain all the prisoners of injustice and
greed and isolation, and when the time comes,
to tear the walls down.

You are well come.

The world needs a few people who are honest,
even to the point of accepting their imperfection;
the world needs a few people who are brave enough to risk
individual comfort for the sake of a larger love;
the world needs a few people who honour their own pain
as well as their ability to transform pain into compassion;
the world needs a few people who step into the unknown
carrying enough love to make things interesting.

The world needs a few people who are ready to come alive.
And the sign-up sheets are not on any wall,
but wait eternally within the human heart.

So let us gather in peace, and let us make room
for the infinite possibilities of the spirit.

Welcome, friends, to this precious hour. (pause)

Words of Welcome and Introduction:

These opening words, by Bob Janis-Dillon, welcome all who have gathered this morning for our Sunday service. Welcome to those of you who have gathered in-person at Essex Church and also to all who are joining us via Zoom from far and wide. For anyone who doesn’t know me, my name is Jane Blackall, and I’m ministry coordinator with Kensington Unitarians.

Today’s service is titled ‘All About Me?’ Patricia Brewerton suggested that we would explore this topic and later in the service she’ll be offering her own reflections on the theme of individualism. In a culture and economic system which often seems to promote the needs and wants of the individual over the collective well-being of the wider community, what tensions might we experience between self-interest and the common good? What does it mean to be an individual in community?

Before we go any further let’s do what we often do and take a moment to check in with ourselves. Each week this moment comes around, it’s 10.30 on Sunday morning, and here we are again. We each stop what we’re doing, we put aside all the goings-on of our everyday lives, all the projects and plans that fill our days, and we set them down for an hour while we attend to the life of the spirit. This hour is made sacred by our presence and intention so let’s each do what we need to do to be here now. Maybe scrunch up your shoulders and let them go. Maybe a few deep breaths to settle.

Chalice Lighting: ‘O Light of Life’ by Sam Trumbore

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. This simple ritual
connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over,
and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which we are a part.

(light chalice)

O light of life,
Be kindled again in our hearts
As we meet together this morning
To celebrate the joy of human community
Seeking a wholeness that extends beyond ourselves.

Hymn (on sheet): ‘Children of a Bright Tomorrow’

Let’s sing together now. Our first hymn is on your hymn sheets if you’re in church and for those joining via Zoom the words will be up on your screen to sing along at home. Feel free to stand or sit as you prefer as we sing: ‘Children of a Bright Tomorrow’.

Now we gather here to worship,
Each with but one life to live;
Each with gifts and each with failings,
Each with but one heart to give.

In our longing, here we gather,
With warm voices for a friend;
Two or three, or tens or thousands,
Heart and hand to all extend.

May our circle grow still wider;
May we see as others see:
Standing in the others’ sandals
Shows us they, too, would be free.

Children of a bright tomorrow,
Every race and every creed;
Men and women of all nations,
Each a glory, each in need.

Small are we, and small our planet,
Hidden here among the stars:
May we know our timeless mission –
Universal avatars.

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. This time we’re going to go to the people in the building first, and take all of those in one go, and then I’ll call on the people on Zoom to come forward.

If you want to come up and share a joy or a concern we ask you to go to the free standing microphone. If you want to take your mask off to do this you now can, though you don’t have to, and I’ll take care of the actual lighting of the candle for you over here. Please do still get up close to the microphone as that will help everyone hear (including the people at home). You can take the microphone out of the stand if it’s not at a good height for you – it’s still going to be important to speak up – and have the microphone pointing right at your mouth. Thank you.

(in person candles)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Liz Weber

And let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer now. This prayer is based on some words by Calvin Dame. You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,
we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,
as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom
to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.
Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the
silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (pause)

Spirit of Life, help us to be present with all that is our life,
both our deepest sorrows and our greatest joys,
so that we can truly live: engaging fully
in our own life and in the life of our community.

Spirit of Community, help us know how connected we are,
how each one of our cares and concerns touches us all.
Help us to ask for support when we are in need,
and offer our support to others when we are able,
so that we may rest in the solace of one another’s love.

Spirit of Love, help us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves,
finding a balance between care for self and care for others,
so that we might fully embody love and resist hatred.

Spirit of Resistance, help us to stick up for what is right,
even when we are tired or afraid.
Help us to dream of the world as it should be
and act to bring that world about.
Help us to find hope each day.

Spirit of Hope, help us through this day and each day.
Help us to be present for all that is our life. (pause)

In a few quiet moments let us take some time to pray inwardly the prayers of our own hearts;
calling to mind all those souls we know to be suffering this day, whether close to home, or on the other side of the world. Let us hold all these sacred beings in the light of love. (pause)

Let us also pray for ourselves; we too are sacred beings who face our own daily struggles and muddle through life’s ups and downs. So let us take a few moments to reflect on our own lives, and ask for what we most need this day – comfort, courage, or guidance – to flourish. (pause)

And let us take just a little longer to remember the good things in life and give thanks for them. Those moments in the past week where we’ve encountered kindness, beauty, pleasure, or fun.
Let us cultivate a spirit of gratitude as we recall all those moments that lifted our spirits. (pause)

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up
our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,
and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,
help us to live well each day and be our best selves;
using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen

Hymn 36 (purple): ‘For Everyone Born’

Let’s sing together now. This is a lovely hymn but not one we sing often so perhaps we’d better hear it through once before we sing (and I’m going to suggest we stay seated for this one not least because it’s quite long). It’s number 36 in your purple book and the words will also be on screen: ‘For Everyone Born, a Place at the Table’. There are five verses and chorus so hopefully we’ll have the tune by the time we get to the end. Sing up as best you can: ‘For Everyone Born’.

For everyone born, a place at the table,
for everyone born, clean water and bread,
a shelter, a space, a safe place for growing,
for everyone born, a star overhead.

And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy,
yes, God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy!

For woman and man, a place at the table,
revising the role, deciding the share,
with wisdom and grace, dividing the power,
for woman and man, a system that’s fair.

And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy,
yes, God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy!

For young and for old, a place at the table,
a voice to be heard, a part in the song,
the hands of a child in hands kind and wrinkled
for young and for old, the right to belong.

And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy,
yes, God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy!

For just and unjust a place at the table,
abuser, abused, how hard to forgive,
in anger, in hurt, a mindset of mercy,
for just and unjust, a new way to live.

And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy,
yes, God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy!

For everyone born, a place at the table,
to live without fear, and simply to be,
to work, to speak out, to witness and worship,
for everyone born, the right to be free.

And God will delight when we are creators of justice and joy,
yes, God will delight when we are creators of justice, justice and joy!

Reading: ‘Where God Is’ by Kenny Wiley (adapted) – read by Antony

The first time my heart felt broken, I went to church. When my mum died, I went to church. When I failed an exam, I went to church. When I failed a friend, I went to church. When I felt I’d failed at life, I went to church.

I didn’t go asking for forgiveness. I didn’t go asking for salvation.

I went to church—a Unitarian church—to be reminded, through kind words from friends, awkward interactions with strangers, and inspired messages from leaders, that no matter how down I feel, I still matter. I still have worth.

My God says, “Whoever you are, you are enough. Whomever you love, you are enough. Whatever your race or ethnicity, you are enough. Whatever your abilities, you are enough. Whatever your economic class, you are enough. Whatever your gender identity, you are enough. Whatever you do for a living, you are enough. If you don’t have a job right now, you are enough. You are a human being, so you are enough!”

My God says this when we come together, worship together, listen deeply to one another, and love one another. This, I believe, is the God of our faith.

My minister in college started the prayer with the same words every week. I recall he used the phrase “alone together”. We experience life through our own lenses, yet we don’t have to go it alone.

I know too well that grieving a loss is a long, exhausting road. I also know that walking alongside a mourning friend can feel, somehow, almost as taxing. Being there for others is plain hard. It can be tough to work up the courage to talk for the first time with someone you’ve not met before. Yet I believe that it is in those public spaces that the God of Love or the Spirit of Life truly resides.

It may go against the prevailing culture of individualism to say that we need other people. We like to believe that we can do everything on our own. But I believe that the human spirit truly comes alive when we are challenged, prodded, and uplifted in community.

In the days after my mum’s death, I felt like hiding. Doing so would have been perfectly okay. I decided, though, to go to church. And the community held me up. Being in community was, in a way, harder than being alone—yet it was what I really needed. I needed to sit in that sanctuary with my Unitarian friends. I needed to sing those hymns and hear the voices of others.

We don’t have to go to the service every Sunday—yet I do think that we need to show up somewhere, to some community. I believe that living out our faith requires interaction beyond our own selves. I believe it calls for community. I believe that’s where God is. Through covenant with others, through thick and thin, we reach God, we know we are enough, and we are made better. We strengthen our souls and increase our capacity for love and understanding. Together.

Meditation: ‘The Self in Community’ by Parker J. Palmer

Thanks Antony. We’re moving into a time of meditation now. I’m going to offer just a few words to reflect on – it’s a quote from the Quaker educator and all-round inspiration Parker J. Palmer – for those of you present in the church you’ll find these words on the front of your order of service and for anyone joining from home you’ll find them with the whole service text on the church website. We’ll then move into a few minutes of silence for personal reflection which will end with the sound of a bell. And then we’ll hear some meditative music from Benjie and Peter. So let’s each do what we need to do to get comfortable – adjust your position if you need to – perhaps put your feet flat on the floor to ground and steady yourself – maybe close your eyes. As we always say, the words and music are just an offering, feel free to use this time to meditate in your own way.

Parker J. Palmer has this to say about the self in community:

‘Community and individuality
are not an either/or choice,
any more than life and death are.
Instead, they are the poles of another great paradox.
A culture of isolated individualism produces mass conformity
because people who think they must bear life all alone
are too fearful to take the risks of selfhood.
But people who know that they are embedded in an eternal community
are both freed and empowered to become who they were born to be.’

Words from Parker J. Palmer. So as we move into a time of stillness now, I invite you to reflect on your place between the poles of that paradox, the part that community and individuality play in your life.

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell

Musical Interlude: ‘Pastoral for Clarinet and Piano’ by Arthur Bliss – Benjie del Rosario & Peter Crockford

In-Person Reflection: ‘All About Me?’ by Patricia Brewerton

Listening to Radio Four’s Today programme is really not a sensible way to start the day. Unfortunately, I find it hard not to turn the radio on the moment I wake up. But luckily, I usually manage to doze through quite a lot of it. Recently I woke up to catch the end of Canon Angela Tilby’s Thought for the Day. She seemed to be saying that the individualism we see in society is a result of the Puritan theology from way back in the Reformation. I was a bit perplexed by this as when people talk about individualism in society, they imply that it is recent and one of the less pleasant effects of social media. There is a general feeling that it is to blame for a lot of the problems we see in the world today, and Canon Tilby is clearly of that opinion. I don’t know about you, but I had always thought it came from out there, I didn’t associate individualism with Christianity.

A few years ago, a friend sent me a cheeky and irreverent Christmas card. It had a very pious image of an adult Jesus, hands clasped in prayer and eyes cast heavenward. The caption read “It’s all about me!” and I suppose at Christmas that is true. It amused me because at the time you frequently heard people say, “It’s not all about you, you know”. I am sure I had said that myself. I have never actually heard anyone say, “It’s all about me” but it does seem that some people act as if what they want is all that matters.

Anyway, Canon Angela set me thinking. What do we mean when we talk about individualism? Where do we encounter it in our lives? Is the young person who leaves an empty coke can on the seat of the bus the product of individualism? Or just the thoughtlessness of youth. What about all those young people obsessed by what is on their screens instead of talking to the friends sitting with them in the pub? Is this what is worrying us? It might irritate but does it threaten our way of life in the way we fear individualism does?

I recently read a novel about a boy who was being viciously bullied every day at school. On one occasion he was hurt badly enough to need hospital treatment. Whilst in the waiting room he came across one of the bullies who was for once on his own and the victim decided to confront him and ask him why? Why did they kick and punch him? I think perhaps the bully’s chilling answer might be what we fear when we talk about individualism in society. He says “Nothing has any meaning. Everyone does just what they want. Nothing’s good or bad. There’s something they wanted to do, and they had the chance to do it. So they did.” This bully apparently had no conscience and couldn’t, or wouldn’t, distinguish wrong from right.

Okay – it’s only a novel. But sometimes listening to the radio I am tempted to believe that some people do have no conscience and just simply do whatever they want so long as it benefits them. It can seem as if this is endemic in society, unavoidable and irreversible. And I really don’t want to think like that.

And, thankfully, we have recently seen the absolute opposite as we have watched in awe as lives have been pulled from under the piles of rubble left after the earthquake in Turkey and Syria. People prepared to work in the most difficult and dangerous conditions to rescue complete strangers. I expect I was not alone in finding tears in my eyes as I watched a very large, helmeted man, covered in dust, hurrying to an ambulance cradling a tiny baby in his arms. Or watched as a stretcher bearing an injured adult was passed gently from person to person along a line to safety. It isn’t difficult to know that these individuals working together to save lives are doing something which is selfless and something which is good.

So, let’s return to Canon Angela. When I was researching her correct title, I came across an article she had written for The Church Times. Here she accuses Puritan theology of being the cause of a tendency in the Anglican Church towards liturgy-light worship and “every member” ministry. The article is clearly addressed to her fellow Anglicans urging them to return to the Book of Common Prayer. This is fair enough I suppose. But she goes further and blames non-conformity for a lot of what has resulted in individualism in society and of which she disapproves. The photo which accompanies the article is of Liz Truss. I am not sure how to read that!

In the sixteenth century “Puritan” was a pejorative term used to describe clergy and congregations who would not conform to the rules set out by the bishops in something called The 39 Articles. Unitarians are, therefore, descendants of Puritans. And I don’t think we can be accused of all the ills caused by individualism in society.

The filmmaker, Adam Curtis, suggests that in a world of individualism people are trapped in their own imaginations and can’t imagine anything beyond this. I would say that in our gatherings we spend a lot of time trying to imagine something beyond ourselves – which surely is the opposite of individualism. Building Beloved Community certainly means moving beyond “it’s all about me-ism”!

But … but – when I speak of individualism in society am I forgetting that I am part of this society? An individual in society.

During the Reformation it was not only Catholics who suffered persecution. The bishops were a powerful bunch and to be accused of being a Puritan could lead to imprisonment, torture and even death. We can assume then, that to be a non-conformist one would have had to be brave. Fortunately, it doesn’t take a lot of courage to come to Essex Church on Sunday morning. It’s quite nice here, the music is excellent and there is cake, coffee, and chat to follow.

Unitarians are very proud of their dissenting tradition, proud to have stood against an unjust dominant culture. That takes courage, even just speaking out when someone says something that is wrong, unjust or maybe just unfair takes courage. I am ashamed to say I sometimes find that I lack that courage. But sometimes we are just called to really listen to someone else’s pain, to listen without immediately offering our own solution. To keep an undefended heart, if you remember a couple of weeks ago Sarah Tinker spoke about this. And to keep an undefended heart takes courage.

We know we are a long way off the Beloved Community but we each have a role in building it. In the end perhaps it is all about you, it is all about me, and as we choose what we do as individuals in society, it is all about us.

Hymn 208 (purple): ‘When Our Heart is in a Holy Place’

Time for our last hymn, an old favourite, ‘When Our Heart is in a Holy Place’. It’s number 208 in your hymn books, and the words will also be up on screen, so again feel free to sit our stand as you prefer.

When our heart is in a holy place,
when our heart is in a holy place
we are blessed with love and amazing grace,
when our heart is in a holy place.

When we trust the wisdom in each of us,
every colour every creed and kind,
and we see our faces in each other’s eyes,
then our heart is in a holy place.

When our heart is in a holy place,
when our heart is in a holy place
we are blessed with love and amazing grace,
when our heart is in a holy place.

When we tell our story from deep inside,
and we listen with a loving mind,
and we hear our voices in each other’s words,
then our heart is in a holy place.

When our heart is in a holy place,
when our heart is in a holy place
we are blessed with love and amazing grace,
when our heart is in a holy place.

When we share the silence of sacred space,
and the God of our heart stirs within,
and we feel the power of each other’s faith,
then our heart is in a holy place.

When our heart is in a holy place,
when our heart is in a holy place
we are blessed with love and amazing grace,
when our heart is in a holy place.
When our heart is in a holy place.

Sharing of News, Announcements, Introductions:

Thanks to Patricia for choosing our theme and sharing her reflection. Thanks to Antony for reading. Thanks to Jeannene for tech-hosting and Maria for co-hosting. Thanks to Benjie and Peter for playing for us. For those of you who are here in-person, Julia will be serving coffee, tea and biscuits in the hall after the service (plus the ever-popular apple and sultana cake), if you want to stay for refreshments – thanks Julia for making coffee – and also for doubling-up and greeting today too. There will be virtual coffee on Zoom too with Maria so do hang around for a chat.

We have various small group activities for you to meet up during the week. After today’s service at noon Margaret will be running her singing class – that’s free of charge – this class is open to all and even if you think you can’t sing Margaret has a great knack of helping everyone improve the sound they make. There are still spaces left for our Heart and Soul gatherings (online Sunday/Friday at 7pm) and this week’s theme is ‘Chance’. Coffee morning is online at 10.30am Wednesday.

Once again I want to plug a couple of events that are coming up and which you might be interested in – the details were in Friday’s email –booking is currently open for FUSE (the Festival of Unitarians in the South East) which has shifted dates and venue this year and will be taking place on the first weekend of June at the Friars in Kent, an old Carmelite Priory. And this year’s Hucklow Summer School is also now open for applications. It’ll be back in Great Hucklow this August in its traditional form but there will also be an option for some online participation from afar. This is a wonderful week in the Peak District where 50-60 Unitarians gather to explore a theme through talks and engagement groups and generally have a wonderful time and make friends for life. This congregation has always had a strong link to Summer School and you’ll see several familiar faces – me, Sarah, and Charlotte – are on the team of leaders this year. If you can’t wait for information have a look at the summer school website – hucklowsummerschool.co.uk – or ask me about it.

Our service next Sunday will be on ‘Signs of Life’, and we’ll be joined (via Zoom) by Brighton Unitarians. Details of all our various activities are on the back of the order of service and in the Friday email.

The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.

I think that’s everything. Just time for our closing words and closing music now.

Benediction: based on words by Heather Christensen

Each week as we gather, we light a common chalice.

We sing and celebrate, we pray and think.
Then we each gather strength from the flame
and go out from here, taking the light with us.

May we be bearers of that light to all we meet in the week to come. Amen.

Closing Music: ‘Grazioso’ by Frederic Blasius – Benjie del Rosario & Peter Crockford

Patricia Brewerton and Jane Blackall

26th March 2023