Hospitality of the Heart – 30/4/23
Opening Music: ‘Minuet and Trio’ – WA Mozart by Benjie del Rosario and George Ireland
Opening Words:
I invite you to notice your breath; its rise and fall. Let us take a few moments to settle and to become intentionally present. As we breathe out let us lay our distractions aside to nurture our whole being.
Words of Welcome:
In our strength and our fragility we gather here to be still with the mystery within and the mystery beyond
None of us knowing the extent of another’s struggle. Behind the eyes and the smiles we are a mystery to one another; even to ourselves.
We enter into this time and this place to join our hearts and minds together.
What is it that we come here seeking? Many things: too many to mention them all.
Yet, it is likely that some common longings draw us to be with one another:
To remember what is most important in life.
To be challenged to live more truly, more deeply, to live with integrity and kindness and with hope and love.
To feel the company of those who seek a common path, To be renewed in our faith in the promise of this life.
To be strengthened and to find the courage to continue to do what we must do, day after day, world without end.
Even if your longings are different than these, you are welcome here. Even if you do not have the strength and the courage to pass along, you are welcome here.
In your grief and your joy, in your brokenness and quest to find wholeness, however you are, you are all truly welcome to be within this circle of companions. We gather here.
It is here together that we continue a meditation on and the practice of becoming our best selves. (Linda Hart, slightly adapted)
Chalice Lighting:
We light our chalice flame as we do each time we gather. This simple ritual connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over, and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which we are a part.
Spirit of Life
As we light our flame
We invite you into our hearts to guide our giving.
Bless us in our voices, as we pray for those in need.
Bless us in the circle of hands that hold what we shall give.
Speak to us in mind, and see us through your sight, as we look to the vision in the grace of giving.
May we give unconditionally, so that our little today is someone else’s plenty tomorrow and their days to come.
(light chalice)
Hymn 191 (green book): ‘To Worship Rightly’
Let’s sing together now. The words of our first hymn help us in our reflections on today’s theme: hospitality. May the words touch hearts and heads. Number 191 in our GREEN hymnbook and for those joining via Zoom the words will be up on screen to sing along at home. Please stand or sit as you prefer.
Now let us sing in loving celebration;
The holier worship, which our God may bless,
Restores the lost, binds up the spirit broken,
And feeds the widow and the parentless.
Fold to thy heart thy sister and thy brother;
Where pity dwells, the peace of God is there;
To worship rightly is to love each other;
Each smile a hymn, each kindly deed a prayer.
Follow with reverent steps the great example
Of those whose holy work was doing good:
So shall the wide earth seem our daily temple,
Each loving life a psalm of gratitude.
Then shall all shackles fall; the stormy clangour
Of wild war-music o’er the earth shall cease;
Love shall tread out the baleful fire of anger,
And in its ashes plant the tree of peace.
Candles of Joy and Concern:
Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. This time we’re going to go to the people in the building first, and take all of those in one go, and then I’ll call on the people on Zoom to come forward.
So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us briefly who or what you light your candle for. Please do get up close to the microphone as that will help everyone hear (including the people at home). You can take the microphone out of the stand if it’s not at a good height for you – it’s still going to be important to speak up – and have the microphone pointing right at your mouth. And if you can’t get to the microphone give me a wave and I’ll bring it over to you. Thank you.
(in person candles)
And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.
(zoom candles)
And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)
Time of Prayer and Reflection:
I invite you into a time of gentle reflection, meditation, prayer.
We gather together each Sunday with hearts full of life’s sorrows and joys.
We try to make sense of life in general and often our own lives in particular.
We long to find light to counter darkness, goodness to stand up to evil, generosity in place of meanness, connection and companionship not isolation and despair, compassion over unkindness.
We long to find hope and healing poured out through the hospitality of hearts.
Spirit of the Universe of our hearts and many names be with us now.
(Michael to read names he was sent in advance of the service)
In our naming people in our hearts may we hold them in our thoughts and our prayers this morning.
We give thanks for those who bring us joy, and pray for the safe keeping of those whom we hold in concern. For all those names, spoken and unspoken, may they be surrounded by the loving kindness we offer them today and in the coming week.
We reach out with minds and hearts to all who are suffering because of war, famine, being homeless, poverty and the many other injustices and cruelties that humankind and sentient beings endure. But there is goodness in the world.
Where it is found may it be nurtured
Where it is planted may it give comfort
Where it is given away to another may it spread hope.
For all the named and unnamed we hold in our hearts I light this candle.
Hymn 128 (purple book): ‘Our World is One World’
Time for us to sing again. I invite you to feel the stillness through the words. Hymn 128 n the purple hymnbook. for those joining via Zoom the words will be up on screen to sing along at home. Please stand or sit as you prefer as we sing.
Our world is one world:
what touches one affects us all —
the seas that wash us round about,
the clouds that cover us,
the rains that fall.
Our world is one world:
the thoughts we think affect us all —
the way we build our attitudes,
with love or hate, we make
a bridge or wall.
Our world is one world:
its ways of wealth affect us all —
the way we spend, the way we share,
who are the rich or poor,
who stand or fall?
Our world is one world,
just like a ship that bears us all —
where fear and greed make many holes,
but where our hearts can hear
a different call.
In-Person Reading: The Parable of the Good Samaritan, Luke, Chapter 10, vs 25-37, KJV (Liz Tuckwell to read)
25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?
30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him.
34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?
37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.
Words for Meditation:
We’re moving into a time of prayer now. Words interspersed with drops and pools of silence for your own inward reflection.
Let’s allow ourselves to sink deep into this extended time of meditation and see where it takes us. You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. Take a few moments to find the posture that helps you feel comfortable, more aware.
Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us. (pause)
Spirit of Life and Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,
we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,
as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom
to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.
Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the
silence and stillness at the very centre of our being. (pause)
Spirit of Life and Love, known by many names and yet fully known by none, we give thanks for this time and this place of renewal.
We give thanks for the ability to begin again: after the disaster, after the tragedy, after the loss, after meeting the challenge set before us. Grant us the courage to continue on the journey, the courage to speak up for the well being of others and ourselves and the planet.
May we forgive each other when our courage falls short, and may we try again.
Grant us hearts to love boldly, to embody our faith and our values in living words and deeds. May our hearts open to embrace humility, grace, and reconciliation. Grant us the ability to learn and grow, to let the Spirit of Love and Truth work its transformation upon us and within us.
Grant us the spirit of hospitality, the willingness to sustain a fit dwelling place for the holy that resides in all being. Grant us a sense of being at peace in the world, even as we are in motion.
May we cultivate together the strength to welcome every kind of gift and all manner of ways to be on the journey together. To this we add the silent prayers of our hearts.
(Pause) Blessed be.
Period of Silence and Stillness
Musical Interlude: ‘Somewhere’ – Bernstein/Sondheim by Benjie del Rosario and George Ireland
In-Person Reading: ‘The Soup Stone’ (Hannah King to read)
Time for another reading showing us the blessings of shared hospitality
Once upon a time, a wise old man decided to go on a journey. So he packed a small bag, said goodbye to his wife, and set off. He travelled all day without meeting anyone. When it was evening, he came to a small village. “I think I’ll stop here for the night,” he said to himself.
Near the centre of the village, he met a group of people. So he introduced himself. “I’m a simple traveller,” he said, “looking for a safe place to sleep and a hot meal.”
“We’d be glad to offer you a place to sleep,” the villagers told him, “but we have very little food. Our crops were very poor this year, and there’s not much to eat in the whole village. Most of us are just barely getting by.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” the old man said. “But you needn’t worry about feeding me. I already have everything I need. In fact, I was thinking of making some stone soup to share with all of you.”
“Stone soup?” the villagers asked. “What’s that? We’ve never heard of stone soup.”
“Oh, it’s wonderful,” said the old man. “Best soup I’ve every tasted. If you bring me a soup pot and some water, I’ll make some for all of us.”
And so the villagers rushed back to their homes. When they returned, one was carrying a large soup pot, another had wood for a fire, and others brought water.
When the fire was going and the water had begun to boil, the old man took out a small silk pouch. With great ceremony, he reached in and pulled out a smooth, round stone. He carefully dropped the stone into the boiling water. The villagers watched eagerly. The old man began to slowly stir the pot, sniffing the aroma and licking his lips in anticipation. “I do like a tasty stone soup,” he said. “Of course, stone soup with cabbage—now that’s really special.”
“I might be able to find a bit of cabbage,” one villager said. And off she went to her house, returning with a small cabbage she had stored away in her pantry. “Wonderful!” said the old man, as he added the cabbage to the pot. “This reminds me of the time I had stone soup with cabbage and a bit of salted beef. It was unbelievably good.”
After a moment of silence, the village grower of beans and pulses spoke up. “I know where there’s a sack of beans and lentils,” he said. And off he went to his shop to get it. When he returned, the old man added the beans and pulses to the soup pot and continued to stir.
“Can you imagine what this soup would taste like if we had a bit of onion…and perhaps a few potatoes…and a carrot or two…and some mushrooms. Oh, this would be a meal fit for royalty.”
And before he knew it, the soup pot was filled to the brim with vegetables of all kinds— carrots and potatoes, mushrooms and onions, turnips and green beans, beets and celery—all brought by the men and women and children of the village. Not only that, but the village baker came out with some fresh bread and butter.
And as the soup simmered slowly over the fire, the wonderful aroma began to waft over the villagers. And they began to relax and talk together, sharing songs and stories and jokes.
When the soup was finally done, the old man ladled it out into bowls, and they all shared a delicious meal together. There was more than enough for everyone to eat their fill. Afterward, they all declared that it was the best soup they had every tasted. The mayor of the village pulled the old man aside, and quietly offered him a great deal of money for the magic stone, but the old man refused to sell it.
The next morning, he woke early and packed up his belongings. As he was leaving the village, he passed by a group of children playing at the side of the road. He handed the youngest one the silk pouch containing the stone, and he whispered, “It was not the stone that performed the magic. It was all of us together.”
Sermon: ‘Hospitality of the heart’ by Rev. Michael Allured
In gathering together as a community of seekers on a spiritual and religious quest what is it that we believe we are doing? For what purpose have we made the effort to congregate in Essex Church today as we have done on many other days?
From habit? To worship God and give thanks for the Spirit of Life? Are we here for ourselves to find comfort, healing and nurture? I’d suggest that we are.
But as no one is an island, to echo John Donne, I would go further: belonging to a community that values tending our individual spirits, the essence of our very being, requires us to nurture each other, neighbour and friend – especially in our human brokenness – with care and hospitality.
Easy to utter the words: much harder to live them when we are worn out, angry, indignant, provoked, whether unintentionally or not, or afraid.
These are all understandable human emotions, even for one with the kindest heart. But if diverging in Robert Frost’s wood one road was wholly secular and materialistic and the other that cultivated our heart and spirit, what difference does it make if we follow the other?
What does leading a religious life individually and as a religious community in Unitarian or Quakerly ways mean for how we reveal ourselves, not when all is calm but when we are tested? Where to even begin?
For me it’s with intentional hospitality. Now we must decide for ourselves and as a religious community to whom we extend that hand and how we do it.
We know that the Good Samaritan takes pity on the victim. He uses costly oil and wine to treat the man’s wounds and makes sure he has bed and board while he healed. The Samaritan went the extra mile. He paid for two nights in advance and left a line of credit open that he would fulfil on behalf of the beaten man.
Empathy, compassion, kindness, care in action. In a modern theology we might hear the expression ‘radical hospitality’. Here is a definition:
Radical hospitality is hospitality that goes beyond being friendly; it is welcoming guests with a warmth, openness, and authenticity that significantly exceeds expectations. It is intentional hospitality that surprises and delights people by making them feel noticed, giving them personal attention, and providing excellent follow-through.
A rose by any other name: empathy, compassion, kindness, care in action.
I’m reminded of more Good Samaritans closer to home. In the 1970s, though no longer illegal, to be openly gay and in a relationship was still considered as a perversion, a deviation from the norm, by society.
Keith Gilley, the then minister of Golders Green Unitarians, where I am now minister knew a thing or two about hospitality. Keith Gilley was not gay himself but he opened up GGU as a sanctuary, a place of welcome.
With Dudey Cave he founded Integroup, a safe forum for support and insightful learning where all – regardless of sexuality – were welcome without needing to be labelled.
Keith was vilified in the local press. GGU was known as the ‘gay church’, its minister and GGU members shunned by other local clergy.
Our archives contain newspaper cuttings of the protests interrupting the performance when the congregation invited Gay Sweatshop to put on a play in the space where we now sit. .
It was in this same place that I met June, the wife of Bernard, who was now the partner of Dudley. That was in 1988. That I still remember the warmth of her authentic though not overpowering welcome and generosity today is testament to its power and quality. June and Bernard, though no longer a couple, had never bothered to divorce and she lived happily with Bernard and Dudley in a road just behind the church.
To invoke words of Maya Angelou: I’ve forgotten what June said, I’ve forgotten some of what she did, but I shall never forget how she made me feel.
Perhaps that’s another way of expressing the Golden Rule. Perhaps it’s as simple and as complex as that: how we each make each other feel.
One of the television reviews of 2022 remembered the actress Josephine Tewson who played Elizabeth, the next door neighbour to social climbing snob Hyacinth Bouquet, spelt Bucket, acted by Patricia Routledge. Proud of her skills as a hostess, Hyacinth, who sees Elizabeth as a friend, regularly invites her in for coffee.
Unfortunately for Liz, knowing Hyacinth is obsessively house-proud, she gets very nervous and repeatedly spills and drops things throughout the series in Hyacinth’s home, especially Hyacinth’s Royal Doulton cups with the hand-painted periwinkles.
Even the most trivial of events—such as Hyacinth raising her voice or the telephone ringing—causes Liz’s nerves to completely collapse. Even coffee in a beaker gets spilled. In one episode when Elizabeth is invited round for coffee,
In another episode Hyacinth directs her from the front to the back door to avoid grubby gardening hands marking the hall wallpaper. ‘Where shall I sit?’, Elizabeth always nervously enquires. ‘Anywhere, Elizabeth’, replies Hyacinth, adding just as Liz is about to sit ‘No, not there!’
Hyacinth remains completely oblivious to the terror that runs through her neighbour anticipating the invitation to coffee. She never finds the courage to decline. Neighbours, the postman, even the vicar, run for cover at the sight of the ‘Bucket woman’, as the vicar calls her.
Invitations to coffee and, even worse, candlelight suppers bring forth sudden urgent tasks, feelings of dread and nervous endurance.
This stands in contrast to the laid back hosting of Hyacinth’s sister Daisy and brother-in-law, Onslow: a can of beer, shoes off relaxing in front of the TV. Food spillages on the floor: no matter: It is the dog not the vacuum cleaner who hoovers them up and all is well.
Two ends of the hosting spectrum. At one end there’s Hyacinth’s military precision, shoe etiquette and control striking fear into Elizabeth. Then there are Daisy and Onslow.
Mugs or bone china with hand painted periwinkles? Which will give me authenticity and feed my soul? It’s a mug for me.
In a frightening world we manage to survive on chinks of hope through the places and people who feed our soul and give us rest.
Fun and a shared yearning to create enduring bonds of friendship and camaraderie as we face the world and life’s trials: these are needed too.
True, we cannot do everything. There is much we are not able to control. But we can choose how tolive in the world. The way we make another feel is often within our power.
During my ministry training my maxim on the role of a minister became a source of wry amusement as it did with Feargus, my husband and also a Unitarian minister. The most valuable gift a minister can give to the congregation on Sundays is to help them to feel better when they go out of the doors than they did when they entered.
It will not always be possible. But it’s essential we try, each and every one of us. We owe it to ourselves, to our present community and all who come after us.
I’m hopeful that when those who gathered for intergroup encounters went back into the harsh and hostile world they felt held and healed by the radical hospitality they found at Golders Green Unitarians.
In the spirit of the Good Samaritan and the collective hospitality generated from our other story – the soup stone may we as a community open our hearts in sympathy, empathy and healing.
May our intentions be guided by wisdom, may our words be kind and our hospitality generous. Amen.
Hymn 68 (purple book): ‘I Dream of a Church’
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s laughing
as she rocks in her rapture, enjoying her art:
she’s glad of her world, in its risking and growing:
’tis the child she has borne and holds close to her heart.
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s weeping
as she crouches, weighed down by the sorrow she sees:
she cries for the hostile, the cold and no-hoping,
for she bears in herself our despair and dis-ease.
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s dancing
as she moves like the wind and the wave and the fire:
a church that can pick up its skirts, pirouetting,
with the steps that can signal God’s deepest desire.
I dream of a church that joins in with God’s loving
as she bends to embrace the unlovely and lost,
a church that can free, by its sharing and daring,
the imprisoned and poor, and then shoulder the cost.
God, make us a church that joins in with your living,
as you cherish and challenge, rein in and release,
a church that is winsome, impassioned, inspiring;
lioness of your justice and lamb of your peace.
Announcements: (Juliet to do)
Thanks to Michael for leading our service today. Thanks also to Liz and Hannah for reading. Thanks to Jeannene for tech-hosting and Charlotte for co-hosting. Thanks to Benjie and George for our music. Thanks to Liz for greeting. For those of you who are here in-person, Marianne is serving coffee, tea, biscuits in the hall after the service, if you want to stay and chat.
If you’re here in person, there’s a free singing class with Margaret, today from noon.
We have various small group activities for you to meet up during the week. There are still spaces left for our Heart and Soul contemplative spiritual gatherings (online Sunday and Friday evenings at 7pm) with guest leaders while Jane is on holiday. Mandy Reynolds is leading that tonight on ‘Colour’, Rita Woditsch is going to lead it next Friday on ‘Dreams’, and you can find their emails to sign up in the Friday email if you want to join Heart and Soul.
The West London GreenSpirit group are joining with the national GreenSpirit organisation for an online celebration of Beltane tomorrow, 1st May, so email Sarah if you want details of how to join that. And the in-person poetry group are meeting this Wednesday evening, here at the church, so email Brian your poetry selections if you are planning to come along or you want to know more. All this is on the back of the order of service and in the Friday email.
Next week’s service will be on the theme of ‘Harmony’ and it’ll be led by Patricia with help from Rev Stephanie Bisby, minister with York Unitarians, who’ll be joining us via video.
The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.
Benediction:
Be ours a religion which, like sunshine, goes everywhere;
its temple, all space;
its shrine, the good heart;
its creed, all truth;
its ritual, works of love;
its profession of faith, divine living. (Theodore Parker)
In the coming week may we find courage and strength live in these ways.
Closing Music: ‘One Hand, One Heart’ – Bernstein/Sondheimby Benjie del Rosario and George Ireland
Rev. Michael Allured
30th April 2023
