Ways of Belonging – 21/5/23

Musical Prelude: ‘Blue Boat Home’ by Peter Mayer (played by Abby Lorimier, Georgia Dawson, and Toby Morgan)

Opening Words: Opening Words: ‘A Place of Belonging and Caring’ by Kimberlee Anne Tomczak Carlson (adapted)

It is not by chance that you arrived here today.
You have been looking for something larger than yourself.
Inside of you there is a yearning, a calling, a hope for more,
A desire for a place of belonging and caring.

Through your struggles,
someone nurtured you into being,
Instilling a belief in a shared purpose,
a common yet precious resource
That belongs to all of us when we share.

And so, you began seeking a beloved community:
A people that does not put fences around love.
A community that holds its arms open to love’s possibilities.
A heart-home to nourish your soul and share your gifts.

Welcome home; welcome to this hour of worship.

Words of Welcome and Introduction:

These opening words, adapted from a piece by Kimberlee Anne Tomczak Carlson, welcome all who have gathered this morning for our Sunday service. Welcome to those of you who have gathered in-person at Essex Church and also to all who are joining us via Zoom from far and wide. For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m Jane Blackall, and I’ve belonged to this congregation for 24 years now, but for the first time this morning I can say – and I’m delighted to say – that I’m now Minister with Kensington Unitarians. Thank you.

Today is our annual membership service – a chance for us to celebrate and reflect on our place in this community ahead of our AGM this afternoon – so I’ve chosen the theme of ‘Ways of Belonging’ and invited members of the congregation to contribute their thoughts on what it means to belong to this church. In the next hour we’ll hear from Heidi Ferid, Carolyn Appleby, and Charlotte Chanteloup, and there’ll be a smattering of shorter contributions from other voices sharing their experiences too. And throughout the service there’s an invitation to reflect on what it means for you to belong – and if you’re visiting here today and your home is in another congregation or community – perhaps you can inwardly translate this to think about your own context and the many ways in which we can belong.

But before we go any further let’s take a moment to get settled and centred and ready to worship. We make this hour sacred by our presence and intention. We’ve each set aside this time to be here, together, and attend to the life of the spirit. We’ve temporarily laid down our to-do lists and put away everything else that is clamouring for our attention. So let’s take a few slow breaths and be here now.

Chalice Lighting: ‘We Come Together’ by Maureen Killoran (adapted)

Let’s light our chalice flame now, as we do each week. This simple ritual connects us in solidarity with Unitarians and Unitarian Universalists the world over, and reminds us of the proud and historic progressive religious tradition of which we are a part.

(light chalice)

In this free church, we come together without creed,
focusing instead on our shared values
of justice, equity and compassion,
and how we live them out in practice,
as we seek to connect ourselves more fully
with the unfolding truths of life and of our world.

We light this chalice as a beacon of hope
for who have gathered here this day.
For all who have ever walked through our doors,
or joined our community via the internet,
for those who may yet find this spiritual home,
and for those whose paths will never come our way.

For all this, and for all those things
we still dare to hope and dream
we kindle our chalice flame this day.

Hymn (on sheet): ‘A Church is a Living Fellowship’

Let’s sing together now. Our first hymn is ‘A Church is a Living Fellowship’. It’s on your hymn sheet and for those joining via Zoom the words will be up on your screen to sing along at home. Feel free to stand or sit as you prefer as we sing.

A church is a living fellowship
More than a holy shrine,
Where people can share their hopes and fear
Less of the yours and mine;

Where bonded by trust we search for Truth
Beyond the chains of creeds,
And thought can aspire to shine with fire
From all our deepest needs.

Let’s stretch out the open hand of Love,
Conquer the fists of hate,
Divided no more by voices of war,
Greeds of our mindless state;

We’ll take all our building bricks of Truth,
Make of them homes of Life,
A future to face the shame and disgrace
In all our past of strife.

A church is a place of human trust
More than of brick and stone;
Of Love we will sing to make it ring
In every joyous tone.

Candles of Joy and Concern:

Each week when we gather together, we share a simple ritual of candles of joy and concern, an opportunity to light a candle and share something that is in our heart with the community. So we’ve an opportunity now, for anyone who would like to do so, to light a candle and say a few words about what it represents. This time we’re going to go to the people in the building first, and take all of those in one go, and then I’ll call on the people on Zoom to come forward.

So I invite some of you here in person to come and light a candle and then if you wish to tell us briefly who or what you light your candle for. Please do get up close to the microphone as that will help everyone hear (including the people at home). You can take the microphone out of the stand if it’s not at a good height for you – it’s still going to be important to speak up – and have the microphone pointing right at your mouth. And if you can’t get to the microphone give me a wave and I’ll bring it over to you. Thank you.

(in person candles)

And if that’s everyone in the room we’ll go over to the people on Zoom next – you might like to switch to gallery view at this stage – just unmute yourselves when you are ready and speak out – and we should be able to hear you and see you up on the big screen here in the church.

(zoom candles)

And I’m going to light one more candle, as we often do, to represent all those joys and concerns that we hold in our hearts this day, but which we don’t feel able to speak out loud. (light candle)

Time of Prayer & Reflection: based on words by Miklós Székely

And let’s take those joys and concerns into an extended time of prayer now. This prayer is based on some quite traditional, comforting, words by Miklós Székely. You might first want to adjust your position for comfort, close your eyes, or soften your gaze. There might be a posture that helps you feel more prayerful. Whatever works for you. Do whatever you need to do to get into the right state of body and mind for us to pray together – to be fully present here and now, in this sacred time and space – with ourselves, with each other, and with that which is both within us and beyond us.

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, in whom we live and move and have our being,
we turn our full attention to you, the light within and without,
as we tune in to the depths of this life, and the greater wisdom
to which – and through which – we are all intimately connected.
Be with us now as we allow ourselves to drop into the
silence and stillness at the very centre of our being.

And be with us each new day as we wake.
Let us know the comfort of your presence
and the revitalising power of your calling.

Whatever we have to face, be it joy or sorrow,
give us strength to carry through the new day.
Give us to know that when we arise in the morning
we must give thanks for the morning light,
for life and strength, for we are still here.

We must give thanks for the gifts of living;
our food and our friends and so many small joys,
which might go unappreciated in the struggle of our days.
Give us hope – in doing your will – in aligning ourselves
with the promptings of peace, justice, and love.

May the warmth of the fellowship we share here
stay with us through this coming week and all it brings.
May we draw strength from the faith we hold and this
beloved community we are an indispensable part of.
May we show our faith by extending our compassion and care
to those we find challenging and those we struggle to understand.
May we find strength in humility, courage in adversity,
joy in diversity, and a true sense of purpose in our prayers.
And so, in the coming week, may our ears and eyes be open to
tidings of joy and gladness, to hints of new possibility.

Spirit of Life, God of All Love, bless and prosper the work of our hands,
for our life, and for the larger life, as you would see it,
the realm of love that is yet to come.

And in a few moments of shared stillness now,
may our hearts speak silently all the prayers of our lives—
our souls’ greatest joys and deepest sorrows, our triumphs and failures,
our regrets and fears, our disappointments and losses, our hopes and dreams –
our concerns for all those to whom we know to be suffering right now.

Spirit of Life – God of all Love – as this time of prayer comes to a close, we offer up
our joys and concerns, our hopes and fears, our beauty and brokenness,
and we call on you for insight, healing, and renewal.

As we look forward now to the coming week,
help us to live well each day and be our best selves;
using our unique gifts in the service of love, justice and peace. Amen

Hymn 193 (purple): ‘We Laugh, We Cry’

Let’s sing together now. Our next hymn is ‘We Laugh, We Cry’. It’s number 193 in your purple book. The sentiment of this song is lovely and I think the only reason we don’t sing it more often is that it’s quite long! The words will also be up on your screen to sing along at home.

We laugh, we cry, we live, we die; we dance, we sing our song.
We need to feel there’s something here to which we all belong.
We need to feel the freedom just to have some time alone.
But most of all we need close friends we can call our very own.
And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;
and we have found a need to be together.
We have our hearts to give
we have our thoughts to receive;
and we believe that sharing is an answer.

A child is born among us and we feel a special glow.
We see time’s endless journey as we watch the baby grow.
We thrill to hear imagination freely running wild.
We dedicate our minds and hearts to the spirit of this child.
And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;
and we have found a time to be together.
And with the grace of age,
we share the wonder of youth,
and we believe that growing is an answer

Our lives are full of wonder and our time is very brief.
The death of one among us fills us all with pain and grief.
But as we live, so shall we die, and when our lives are done
the memories we shared with friends, they will linger on and on.
And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;
and we have found a place to be together.
We have the right to grow, we have the gift to believe
that peace within our living is an answer.

We seek elusive answers to the questions of this life.
We seek to put an end to all the waste of human strife.
We search for truth, equality, and blessed peace of mind.
And then we come together here, to make sense of what we find.
And we believe in life, and in the strength of love;
and we have found a joy to be together.
And in our search for peace, maybe we’ll finally see:
even to question truly is an answer.

In-Person Reflection: ‘Permanence and Impermanence’ by Heidi Ferid

John and I first came to Kensington Unitarians around 1996. Ever since then the Church has been a spiritual home for us. I feel this community gives me a sense of belonging for me it is a long-term commitment. I have a sense of coming home when I walk though these doors.

But of course I have also seen a lot of change and impermanence. Today we welcome Jane as our new minister, she has served congregation in different capacities for a long time, she helped us to come though the difficult time of the pandemic, here we have again both permanence and impermanence.

Over the years I have made friends with people here, just as ministers have changed the members and friends of the congregation have changed. I want to use this opportunity to remember some of our friends who passed away. Dr Stephanie Saville, Betty Evans, Doris Campbell, Patricia Walker, Will Lyons, Caroline Blair, Diana Ward, Veronica Needa. These are just a few names that come to my mind. They all contributed to the life of our community in their own ways. We remember them and in some way they will be with us in this next chapter of our journey.

Affirming Our Membership

Thanks Heidi. It’s so important to take the long view of our community and all those people who have counted themselves as belonging here down the years; the ones who kept the flame burning. And it’s also a pleasure to know that new people are always finding us, one way or another, and coming to feel that this is their spiritual home, a place where they belong. We always say – it’s there in black and white on the form you fill in when you join – membership does not depend on any financial contribution – it is about affirming your personal commitment to this community and to the Unitarian ethos. Each member is a vital and valued part of this church and its work in the world.

So it’s important to welcome and celebrate the six new members who have officially joined Kensington Unitarians in the last year (or, in a couple of cases, re-joined after a few years away): Welcome to Alex Brianson, Gaynor Harper, Karen Hill-Jones, Maya Hobart, Geoffrey Olans, and Jo Ridgers. We are chuffed that you have decided to ‘make it official’ and join us. Please forgive me if you think you’ve joined for the first time in the last year and should be in this list – our membership system has recently changed and I may have got mixed up in the changeover – and if anyone else would like to join please do get in touch after the service and I’ll point you to the membership form.

I invite you now, if you are a member or wish to become a member, to take a moment to inwardly affirm your membership of this congregation. And I want to share some favourite words from the UU minister Tom Owen-Towle, used in the membership and welcoming ceremony of his own church. I reckon it’s applicable to anyone who sincerely pledges commitment to the ongoing life and flourishing of this congregation, whether you’ve been here five minutes, or five years, or fifty:

‘We are happy that you are with us. We gladly share with you in everything that strengthens this congregation. And we stand with you against anything that will injure or weaken it. We believe that membership in our beloved community will enrich and enlarge your life as well as ours. We want your gifts. We offer you ours. Know well that in our membership you are truly accepted to come as you are and to grow who you wish to become.’ And may it be so, for the greater good of all. (pause)

Words for Meditation: ‘When I Knew That I Belonged’

We’re slowly moving into a time of meditation now. We’re going to do something slightly different to take us into this reflective time though. This week I emailed members and asked them to tell me in one sentence about moments when they felt that they belonged, felt at home, here at church. And in a moment Brian and Jeannene are going to come up and read out people’s responses. So the invitation is to take that question into the time of meditation – when are the moments that you knew you belonged? What enabled you to feel that you could be truly at home here? – as I said at the beginning, of course, if you’re passing through, you can translate this to other places in your life. After those words we’ll move a few minutes of silence which will end with the sound of a bell. And then we’ll hear some lovely music from our trio. So let’s do what we need to do to get comfortable – adjust your position – as we listen to what our members had to say on their ‘Ways of Belonging’.

“When I was welcomed by everybody, starting with the greeter by the door, from the very first time I came to Essex Church, I felt at home.”

“When I was first asked to give a reading in a Sunday service, I looked around at the congregation and realised that everyone was rooting for me, and it was a good feeling; I felt that I truly belonged.”

“When no-one had seen me for a while over the summer, and someone else in the congregation reached out and got in touch to check that I was OK, I knew that I belonged.”

“I am a fourth generation Unitarian. I had visited two other churches in London before arriving in Kensington, where I immediately liked Sarah (the Minister) and felt comfortable, as did my mother.”

“When I was looking for a congregation in the late 90s, and I found out that Unitarians had already had women and LGBT people in leadership for years, I knew that this was somewhere that shared some of my values and so I would likely feel at home.”

“The first time I was invited to contribute to a service I knew I belonged.”

“When I heard Jane speak with a relatable East London accent, I knew I belonged.”

“When I came to Heart and Soul, and listened to people being a witness to one another’s stories, I knew that I belonged.”

“When I was asked to do a reading by a prominent black feminist scholar and activist, whose work deeply inspires me, I knew I was at home here.”

“When I heard elements of Sufism, Buddhism and earth-centred spirituality woven into a service, I knew this really was a progressive and liberal religious community, and I knew I belonged.”

“When a committee member went out of her way to get me support to go to summer school for the first time (including driving me to Great Hucklow herself) I knew I belonged.”

“When I flicked through the hymn books for the first time, and saw that the old-fashioned words had been changed to make them more inclusive, I knew I would be at home here.”

“When I heard music and poetry and saw an openness to all beliefs, all races and nationalities, and when someone remembered my name without reading the label on my coat, I felt I had come home.”

As we move into a time of shared silence we invite you to consider when you felt a sense of belonging.

Period of Silence and Stillness (~3 minutes) – end with a bell DING

Musical Interlude: ‘A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square’ by Manning Sherwin (played by Abby Lorimier, Georgia Dawson, and Toby Morgan)

Reflection: ‘My Story of Belonging’ by Carolyn Appleby

Hello. My name is Carolyn Isadore Appleby. I chose my middle name Isadore as one who adores the world and one who has a belief in world citizenship, that is togetherness, not division. Let’s focus on the world of Kensington Unitarians, that has such a wide reach across the world now, from London to Romania and the United States and in no particular order other countries too, such as France, Germany, Wales and Scotland.

This community has been my spiritual home since about 2007. I wish I knew exactly when it was. I do remember how I got here, though. The first time I attended a Unitarian Service was at Manchester College in Oxford, whilst staying in the youth hostel there for a few days. Years before I had had a Unitarian boyfriend and it suddenly came to me to try it out that Sunday. I was impressed how the readings were drawn from all sorts of sources and the hymns had words with which I also resonated, so I resolved to find my local one in London. It took me 3 months to do anything about it and so I arrived at Essex Church, which I liked even more than I did the Service in Oxford. I felt I had come home and had a sense of belonging right away. Well, of course it took a time to bed myself in. The things that made a difference were the friendliness of the congregation, for instance at the end of the Service and in the coffee queue. It was also thanks to the welcome from the Minister, who was Reverend Sarah Tinker at that time. I too contributed to settling in by being outgoing. By the way, we were only in real life church in those days but some of my experience can be adapted to your life online. So, I joined in with whatever was going on from the start, if I possibly could. There were study groups and outings, some of which I instigated. I’m remembering our trip to Southend Congregation and a visit to the annual Koestler Arts exhibition for the work of those in the criminal justice system at the Royal Festival Hall. There was also the trip to the British Museum, which Sarah Tinker organised not so long ago. It was from going to such events that I formed individual friendships, which enhance the rest of my life too. Other good ways of getting to know others in the congregation in the last 3 years has been staying online for a chat after the services and joining walks near the church when I can; that and helping clear up the coffee things.

Up until 2022 I didn’t really think of myself as a Unitarian as such, even though I have been a paid up member of the church for some years. But the time came when I saw the email mentioning that the General Assembly was coming up and out of the blue it came to me that it could apply to me to go. I see such things in terms of Divine inspiration and being led. So I went. It was in Birmingham and it was a very different experience to ours here. Actually I also went to a more informal Unitarian get-together in 2019. It was FUSE, the festival for the south eastern district of Unitarians held then in Worthing. It was so good spiritually and socially that I have booked for this year’s FUSE early June in an old friary in Kent. There may still be a place for you. Check it out!

Many of you meet me online quite often these days because I hugely value our intimate, so personal interactive Heart and Soul services. Did you know that our dear newly-appointed Reverend Dr Jane Blackall invented these so aptly named Services? For me they work online just as well as they did when we had them monthly downstairs in the church library.

I only actually go to church occasionally these days but shall do so again ere long. I look forward to the day when the wearing of masks there is a thing of the past and we can fully see and hear one another to further build our community.

Online Reflection: ‘New Ways to Belong’ by Charlotte Chanteloup

Good morning, everyone. My name is Charlotte. I joined Kensington Unitarians almost 5 years ago after finding the word “unitarian” online and doing some research.

Since then, I’ve participated in events linked to the church and the wider denomination: I come to Sunday services and I’m a regular at Heart & Soul. I went to Summer School in Hucklow in 2019 and I attended FUSE in 2020. While still living in London I volunteered on Sunday mornings in the building. Since moving back to France I’ve been a committee member and overseen the rota for Zoom duties.

In 2019, when I was deciding whether I would move back to France to be closer to my family, I struggled with the idea that I would no longer be able to be a part of Essex Church or Unitarianism, since it doesn’t exist in France. While tragic, the Covid pandemic allowed me to stay in touch with the congregation when I was drowning. I’ve also become more involved with the running of the church, as I am now able to attend meetings from home, which I could not have done before Zoom even while still living in London.

When I first read about Unitarianism online, it felt too good to be true: a faith that was welcoming to all, inclusive and liberal. I had never heard of that before! Then I attended my first service (the second Sunday of June 2018) and I felt welcomed and included. I met wonderful people who were funny, open-minded, and caring. I helped for two inclusive tea dances, and I saw people who were trying to make the world a better place for everyone, not just those they agreed with. This inclusivity continued as the world was forced to shut down as I was then able to keep coming to church even while I was in another country. Since March 2020, I’ve only been able to come back once to the building, but when I stepped into the hall, it felt like I had never left.

Thanks to Sunday services and Heart & Soul gatherings, I’ve had support in the hardest moments of my life. I have met amazing people online. I’ve also got to know people I had already met in a more profound way, by listening to what was most important to them.

Finding Unitarianism allowed me to reconcile faith and values, which I didn’t think was possible. I’ve learnt to listen to people’s experiences and struggles, their hopes and their fears, trying (but not always succeeding) to do so without judgement. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to fail, as long as I learn from it and try to be a better person next time.

I will be co-facilitating with Sarah an engagement group at this year’s Summer School. I only attended once, but Summer School meant a lot to me, because I met so many lovely people, from different walks of life, who wanted to share their experiences. I’m glad I get to help others do that this year. This is thanks to the congregation, and Sarah and Jane’s encouragements.

Hymn (on sheet): ‘Blue Boat Home’

Thanks Charlotte. It’s time for our last hymn, one of our all-time favourites, and we’ve already heard it once today courtesy of our trio: ‘Blue Boat Home’. It’s on your hymn sheet, and the words will also be up on screen, if you aren’t familiar with it bear in mind that there’s a longer gap between verses than you expect! Once again feel free to sit our stand as you prefer.

Though below me, I feel no motion
Standing on these mountains and plains,
Far away from the rolling ocean
Still my dry land heart can say:
I’ve been sailing all my life now,
Never harbour or port have I known.
The wide universe is the ocean I travel
And the earth is my blue boat home.

Sun, my sail, and moon my rudder
As I ply the starry sea,
Leaning over the edge in wonder,
Casting questions into the deep.
Drifting here with my ship’s companions,
All we kindred pilgrim souls,
Making our way by the lights of the heavens
In our beautiful blue boat home.

I give thanks to the waves upholding me,
Hail the great winds urging me on,
Greet the infinite sea before me,
Sing the sky my sailor’s song:
I was born upon the fathoms,
Never harbour or port have I known.
The wide universe is the ocean I travel,
And the earth is my blue boat home.

Sharing of News, Announcements, Introductions

Thanks to Heidi, Carolyn, Charlotte, and all the contributors to the meditation words, for sharing their reflections with us today. Thanks to Ramona for tech-hosting and Charlotte for co-hosting. Thanks to Jeannene and Brian for reading. Thanks to George, Abby, Georgia and Toby for playing such lovely music for us. For those of you who are at church in-person, David will be serving coffee, tea and biscuits in the hall after the service (plus our old favourite apple and sultana cake), if you want to stay for refreshments – thanks David – and thanks Liz for greeting.

After today’s service at noon we’ll have our congregational AGM – we’ll review the annual report and hopefully approve the accounts – we encourage members to stay on for that if you can. We have various small group activities for you to meet up. There are still spaces left for our Heart and Soul contemplative spiritual gatherings (Sunday/Friday at 7pm) and this week’s theme is ‘Foibles’.

I wanted to remind you that booking still open for this year’s Hucklow Summer School, it’ll be back in Great Hucklow this August in its traditional form, but there will also be an option for some online participation from afar. This is a wonderful week in the Peak District where 50-60 Unitarians gather to explore a theme through talks and groups and generally have a wonderful time and make friends for life. This congregation has always had a strong link to Summer School and you’ll see several familiar faces – me, Sarah, and Charlotte – are on the team of leaders this year. Have a look at the summer school website for details – hucklowsummerschool.co.uk – it’s now first-come first-served.

We’ll be back next Sunday will another hybrid service and, to tie in with Pentecost, we’ll be looking at religious language. After the service next week there’ll be a singing class with Margaret. Details of all our various activities are on the back of the order of service and also in the Friday email.

The congregation very much has a life beyond Sunday mornings; we encourage you to keep in touch, look out for each other, and do what you can to nurture supportive connections.

I think that’s everything. Just time for our closing words and closing music now.

Benediction: ‘Being There’ by Cliff Reed (adapted)

It matters that we come together when we can,
not just for what each may gain
but for what we each may contribute
by our presence and participation.

Remind us, in our heart of hearts, that if
we want our church to be there for us,
then we must be there for our church.

And remind us that, if we want others
to be there for us in our times of need,
then we must be there for them in theirs.

So, in the week to come, as we go about our daily lives,
may we feel a sense of lasting connection to this beloved community.
And may we truly know this church as a place where we belong – our spiritual home. Amen.

Closing Music: ‘Morgan Magan’ by Turlough O’Carolan (played by Abby Lorimier, Georgia Dawson, and Toby Morgan)

Rev. Dr. Jane Blackall

21st May 2023